Category Archives: Testimony

Elder Packer was right about bearing testimony

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President Boyd K. Packer

President Boyd K. Packer

In one of our ward leadership meetings yesterday, I was asked to share the spiritual thought.  I thought about several things that I have pondered and written about lately and asked in prayer what would be best for that occasion.  D&C 100:5-8 came to mind.  I would like to elaborate on that here with the hope that it might be helpful for someone else who happens upon this essay.

I was first introduced to this scripture in seminary as we studied church history.  I was impressed with the basic promise of the Lord to Joseph and Sidney that he would inspire them and back up what they said when they spoke.  “That’s wonderful for them,” I thought at the time.  I’m glad the Lord gave them this promise because it must be hard to always know the right thing to say.

A powerful mission president

One of the joys of my mission was being taught by a man whom I already greatly admired for his devotion to religious education.  I had attended several Know Your Religion lectures presented by Joseph C. Muren in the year before I left for Central America.  Halfway through my mission I was delighted to learn that he had been called to preside over the mission in which I was serving.

Zone conferences with President Muren were simply amazing.  I don’t know how or why I was so blessed, but I will never forget the excitement I felt as President Muren taught us the principles of the lacing together effect.  He helped us to understand how natural it is for new converts to want to share their newfound faith with beloved family members and friends close to them.

A unique interpretation of scripture

During one particularly spiritual Zone Conference, President Muren taught us the importance of being teaching and testifying missionaries.  We weren’t having too much success getting the investigator to pray in the first discussion.  He powerfully demonstrated how he would like us to conclude the first discussion by kneeling in prayer and inviting the family to join us as we did so.

He then shared section 100:5-8 and testified that the Lord would put words into our mouths to know what to say that would bless the family the most with what they needed at that exact time we were there.  I remember thinking to myself at the time that this was going to be a leap of faith for me to go from something the Lord gave to Joseph to something I should use in my labors.

Applying the scripture in our work

So out we went to be a bit bolder in our teaching, testifying and challenging.  I vividly remember the first time we went to our knees at the end of a first discussion.  The family looked more than a little surprised but followed our lead.  After explaining what we were about to do, I opened my mouth to pray.  Something special and sacred happened at that moment that is hard to explain.

After thanking Heavenly Father for the blessing of being able to teach that particular family about Joseph Smith’s first vision, I began to bless the family.  I found that I was not asking Heavenly Father to bless them, but that I was pronouncing blessings upon them that I knew they needed.  I was astonished, as was my companion, but not nearly as much as that special family.

Powerful results of faith

At the conclusion of the prayer, I opened my eyes and witnessed a grown man sobbing as he was overcome with the spirit.  His wife and three children, who were teen-agers, still on their knees, moved closer to him and we quietly watched as they shared a sacred family hug.  Slowly, we stood and silently waited.  When the man stood, he extended his hand and thanked us profusely.

“How did you know?” he asked.  “What do you mean?” I replied.  “How did you know to say those things you did?  You blessed us that we would have family unity and good communication between us.  You blessed us that our love for one another would be strong and that we would be able to overcome any financial difficulties that we might be experiencing at this time.”

The Lord stands by his promises

“I didn’t know,” I responded, “but your Heavenly Father did and he inspired me with what to say that you needed to hear.”  We made an appointment to return in a few days and quietly excused ourselves as it was evident that the family had some things that they wanted to discuss among themselves at that time.  The spirit was strong with all of us and we fairly floated out of there.

As my companion and I talked about this sacred experience I found myself saying, “You know, President Muren was right.  The Lord sends His spirit to bear witness to whatever we feel inspired to say when we do it in the spirit of solemn meekness and love.”  Now, not all of our discussions went like that but we sure had a lot more of them after that with similar results.

Service over the years

Fast forward seventeen years.  By this time I had a family and had served in several teaching and priesthood leadership positions in the church.  Our little inner-city ward was dwindling and I was juggling multiple callings because of lack of people to share the load.  I was beginning to feel a little burned out when we were privileged to attend a multi-stake conference with Elder Holland.

This was 1994, just before the death of President Benson and before he was called as an apostle.  I greatly admired the man, having read many of his BYU talks over the years.  I was impressed that Elder Holland was concerned about the one, even though his assignments brought him into teaching environments where there were hundreds, if not thousands who gathered to hear him.

Taught by a General Authority

As we gathered in our conference priesthood leadership session, Elder Holland began to teach us the importance of speaking and teaching under the influence of the spirit when we are standing in front of a congregation or a class.  He then quoted D&C 100:5-8 and promised us that as we exercised faith in teaching the gospel, we would know what to say at the moment it was needed.

Even though I had witnessed this scripture fulfilled in my mission, I had not been as successful in my teaching assignments over the years since then.  I tended to over-prepare and always had more material than I could possibly present.  As a result, I found myself rushing through the lesson in an effort to fit as much in as possible.  I always felt exhausted after these experiences.

Pause while bearing testimony

Elder Holland then did something that I have rarely seen anyone do with such effect either before or since.  He told us that it is important that we pause after we teach a principle of the gospel so that the spirit can work on the people.  He then dramatically demonstrated this by slowly bearing his testimony and pausing to let the spirit sink it.  It was profound.  Silence can be so powerful!

This was an answer to prayer.  I was going so fast when I taught that the spirit didn’t have time to settle in people’s hearts when I bore my testimony.  I felt extremely grateful and wanted to get back to my ward to try this out.  I didn’t have to wait that long because Elder Holland asked for a volunteer to demonstrate this principle in action.  I soon found myself at the front of the chapel.

Practice is part of preparation

He asked my name and said, “Brother Malone, I want you to simply bear your testimony, but I want you to pause after each sentence as you look your brethren in the eye. Now, go ahead.”  I turned and faced hundreds of priesthood leaders including Bishops, Stake presidents, Elder’s Quorum Presidents and lowly ward executive secretaries and quorum instructors like me.

Maybe it was because I had a man who was about to be called as an apostle standing next to me but something sacred and special happened on that occasion that has rarely happened quite so powerfully since.  I did as Elder Holland taught and watched in amazement as men quietly began to wipe tears from their eyes as I bore witness to the truths of the restored gospel that I love.

Give the spirit a chance to work

When I was finished, Elder Holland invited me to sit down and then said very slowly and very quietly, “You see brethren, the Lord stands by his promises.  When we teach and bear testimony in solemnity of heart and in the spirit of meekness, the Holy Ghost is shed forth in bearing record to whatsoever we say because it is what the Lord inspired us to say at that moment.”

It was another one of those sacred moments for me.  I was immersed in the spirit while I was bearing testimony.  The Lord was strengthening me and bearing witness to me at the same time that I was bearing my witness to others.  I love that special and sacred experience and wish that it occurred more often in my life.  It took an apostle to teach me how to bear testimony with power.

Summary and conclusion

President Packer has said, “A testimony is to be found in the bearing of it.”  Because this is such a powerful principle, it has been attacked by the adversary through enemies of the church, many of them former members who never quite got it.  They like to call it lying for the Lord and claim that the bearing of testimonies to one another is simply a form of brainwashing in an evil cult.

President Packer is right.  There is nothing that can equal the experience of testifying of the truths of the gospel while under the influence of the spirit of the Holy Ghost.  D&C 100:5-8 can be one of the most difficult scriptures to internalize.  It takes a great deal of faith to trust that the Lord will inspire us but I know from experience that he does send his spirit to bear record to our words.

The teaching and testifying missionary

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Although I have previously shared a couple of stories from my mission, I have been wanting for a long time to express how much I enjoyed my mission and how it changed my life. There is no doubt that serving a mission was difficult but it was also a period of unequaled and appreciated spiritual and emotional growth.

I served in the Costa Rica San Jose mission from August of 1976 to August of 1978. The first two months were spent learning Spanish in the LTM in the old Knight-Magnum hall on the BYU campus. We were one of the last groups to be housed there. All the missionaries after us enjoyed the new facilities of the MTC.

The decision to go on a mission

Up until the day I turned 19 years old I wasn’t sure that I would be going on a mission. Although I grew up in the church, I went through a short period of rebelliousness in my late teens in which I did not attend church for about six to ten months. That all changed when I went to Rick’s College in the fall of 1974.

While there I experienced a mighty change of heart as I listened to prophets and apostles who came to teach us in the weekly devotionals. For those who remember LeGrand Richards, I attribute my desire to serve a mission directly to his amazing testimony of the joy that attends the missionary bearing witness of the restoration.

An idealistic missionary

I wrote a little about that experience in a previous essay. I made up my mind about a year later when I watched and listened to President Kimball teach us that every worthy young man should serve a mission. So I prepared and finally sent in my papers in June of 1976. Three weeks later I was thrilled to receive a mission call.

I wanted to be the kind of missionary that I heard about from LeGrand Richards. I wanted to be a teaching and testifying missionary and so I spent the last six to ten months before my mission studying the doctrines of the restoration so I could feel prepared. I studied, fasted, prayed and did everything to strengthen my testimony.

The shock of reality

I felt I was ready but still, I was in for a shock when I got to the LTM. Anybody who has served a foreign language mission knows what I am talking about. From day three in the LTM we were to only speak our mission language. That was one of the most frustrating experiences of my life so far but it was extremely effective.

By the time I got to Central America I thought I could communicate fairly well in Gringo Spanish. Shock! The native people do not speak slowly and they had very funny accents. Of course, they said my accent was funny and didn’t hesitate to laugh when I spoke. That was tough but they laughed at my companions as well.

Discipline of memorization

In those days we memorized the discussions word for word. Every morning for the first two months of my mission I memorized those discussions until I had passed them all off. From then on I felt like I could concentrate on conversational Spanish and began to feel that I could understand and be understood. Spanish became easy.

To me, learning Spanish in less than six months was a miracle and one of the gifts of the spirit. Once I had the language down, I then focused on being the kind of missionary that LeGrand Richards had caused me to see in my mind’s eye a few years earlier at Rick’s College. We had plenty of opportunities to teach each day.

Teaching and baptizing

Teaching forty discussions in a week was a normal goal for our mission. Some days we taught ten or twelve discussions. We had no problems being invited in as we were tracting so teaching and testifying were everyday activities. Amazingly, I began to recognize early in each discussion those who were sensitive to the spirit.

Without resorting to kiddie baptisms like John Dehlin talked about in his mission, the typical missionary baptized sixty to eighty converts during their two years in Central America. There were four countries in my mission and we could only stay in each county six months. So we changed companions about every six weeks.

First half of my mission

The first half of my mission as a junior companion in Honduras and Costa Rica was a preparatory time for me. I learned a lot from my senior companions. After that I was sent to Panama as a senior companion and then to Nicaragua as a zone leader. We had great success in every county but especially in the poor areas.

In Panama, we found and taught a family that to me, made my time in the mission worth the price. When I think of my mission, I think of the Delgado family. They responded to the spirit and worked hard to qualify for baptism. The way we found them was a miracle and their sweet influence on our whole district was profound.

A vision fulfilled

It was in Panama that I found myself literally fulfilling the vision I had seen of myself as a missionary while at Rick’s College. After teaching a first discussion, we invited a family we had just tracted to kneel with us in prayer. Something special happened during that prayer that brought tears to the eyes of the family.

While still on our knees I testified to them that what they had felt was the spirit of the Holy Ghost bearing witness to the truthfulness of the message that we taught. We asked for and obtained a return appointment and left feeling blessed, knowing that the Lord fulfills his many promises to back up our testimony with his spirit.

Conclusion of my mission

When I arrived in Managua, I was amazed to discover that 85% of the membership in our little branch did not attend church. This was by far the highest inactivity rate we had discovered and we worked hard to change it. By the time we left Reparto Schick, the attendance had increased to 35% and we had new baptisms.

It was just a few months later that civil war engulfed this nation that had already been devastated by an earthquake that had destroyed their capital city. The stories of the missionaries coming out of the area were both frightening and amazing as they bore testimony of the hand of the Lord in protecting them in getting out.

The Returned Missionary

I came home determined to keep my testimony strong. But the transition for a missionary can be difficult. I found myself accepting a job that required working on Sundays. Slowly that fire became dim until I was able to change jobs and get back to regular church attendance. How I missed and appreciated church again!

Soon I met Carol and embarked on a whole new journey of learning to love and serve my own family. Because of what I learned on my mission, I feel I became a better husband and hopefully a better father than I would have been otherwise. I love serving in this church and appreciate the foundation I received on my mission.

Conclusion and summary

It’s hard to summarize the two-year Mormon mission experience in just a few short paragraphs. But if there is one thing I learned and cherish to this day, it is the fact that the Lord really does fulfill his promise that “the Holy Ghost shall be shed forth in bearing record” unto the things we say when speaking the thoughts he gives us.

The knowledge, gained by two years of testing and proving it as a missionary, has served me well in many callings since that day. I love to teach the gospel. What I love most about it is the feeling I get when I teach and bear testimony to the truth. The feeling is indescribable other than to say that it is delicious and most desirable.

We don’t know everything but we know enough

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And just because I think that the church is doing a great job with these Mormon Messages, I include the latest one here with a few comments. I’ll bet hundreds, if not thousands of other Latter-day Saints are adding these videos to their blogs as well.

Wouldn’t it be great if more people viewed the words of living prophets and apostles like Elder Andersen? This was not from the most recent conference but it sure struck a chord with me when I heard it. I love the idea of being able to exercise simple faith.

There’s no way we can know everything about the purpose of life, the doctrines of the gospel, the history of the church, the scriptures and all the other stuff we have to cram into our little heads to make a living and to have a happy family. But, we can know enough!

We can know enough to be happy. We can know enough to realize that we can leave the big things up to God while we focus on the things that he asks us to do for right now. This video illustrates the idea of having that security, even as a little child.

You don’t know what you think you know

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I know that some of my readers are lawyers, some are philosophers and some are very active apologists of our faith. I know this because I read your blogs and am much impressed by your sound reasoning and logical approach to questions of religion, both doctrinal and practical.

I am not trained in rhetoric, argument or apologetics. I am just your basic, average member of the LDS church who loves his religion and finds great joy in attempting to understand and to practice it better each day of my life. I love the doctrines of salvation and of the restoration.

A common understanding

My blog attracts all kinds of readers: stalwart LDS members of pioneer heritage, enthusiastic recent converts, those who are trying to become more active in the faith, those who are leaving the church and even former members who are very much opposed to the work of the church.

My dialogs with those who are members of the LDS faith or those who are former members all seem to have one thing I can rely on: we are familiar with the idea of the personal testimony and what it means to Mormons as the fundamental basis for our firm commitment to our religion.

A foreign concept to some

But when it comes to dialogs with those who are not of our faith, never have been, and who state that they have no intention of ever becoming LDS, I find myself constantly having to explain how our testimonies color our world and why they are so powerful in driving our daily lives.

I’m beginning to suspect that the ideas of having a testimony, of holding it, feeding it, losing it and regaining it are foreign concepts to my visitors who are not LDS. I wish I could come up with an analogous experience that they would understand so I could compare apples to apples.

Even Ex-Mo’s understand

I mean, even the Ex-Mormons who now mock us and our testimonies know that it is a very basic part of our faith. They know that the whole purpose of Primary, Sunday school, Seminary and just about every meeting we attend is really to strengthen our testimonies of the restored gospel.

They may say they never had one or that they were the victims of mass hypnosis or that they are so over their participation in the church because they got a “real” education when they grew up. But do members of other churches not have a similar experience growing up in their religion?

Too much logic and reason

I’m thinking that everyone has to deal with how they feel about their faith at some time in their life. It can’t all be an intellectual exercise where you learn the doctrines and history, analyze it objectively for reason and then reject every semblance of emotion that may have been involved.

Is discussing religion and understanding theology only about being objective, reasonable and purely logical? How cold and sterile that seems to me. Perhaps avoiding dialog about the subjective feeling experience that makes religion come alive is limited to the male gender.

Feelings, passion and revelation

My most poignant and revelatory prayers are those that occur when my heart is broken and I am experiencing great distress over some trial or disappointment. It is when I am clearly feeling emotional about something that I seem to reach the deepest in my communications with God.

Likewise, some of the most powerful revelations I have received have come in those moments of passionate pleading when I am explaining to the Lord my need to understand a certain part of the gospel and how it applies to my life’s circumstances at that time. Such answers are powerful.

Revelation separate from emotion

However, on every occasion where I knew I was receiving revelation, when I knew my prayer was being answered while yet on my knees, the feelings of distress and discomfort disappeared. What flowed into my soul in those moments was accompanied with peace and deep satisfaction.

Because so much of my testimony has been gained in this manner upon my knees in conjunction with much pleading and asking, I have strong emotional memories attached to the revelation that has come as a result of my prayer. But I do not confuse the emotion with the answers received.

Revelation without distress

Thus, my faith, my testimony and my understanding of God’s love for me are increased with each revelatory experience. They are not as rare as they used to be. If I pay the price in intense and passionate effort, the revelation comes, and I know things that I did not know previously.

My prayers are not always answered while I am still on my knees. And not all my prayers are full of passionate, emotional pleadings. Faith does not need to be expressed in distressed, gut-wrenching importuning. A simple, quiet, yet powerful prayer will also lead to timely answers.

I know what I know

I long ago resolved any doubts about the church, the doctrine or the history. My prayers these days are more about understanding how I can be more effective in sharing the gospel with others. So I feel extremely comfortable in my knowledge and testimony of the basic tenets of my faith.

When discussing my religion with others not of my faith, I easily express that I know certain things when they come up in our dialog. It can be a shock when the other person responds with, “You don’t know what you think you know.” Excuse me? How do you know what I know?

Attempts to disprove

I suspect that such statements don’t come from those who are sincere in wanting to understand my point of view on things. For those who view religion as only logical and always reasonable, my assertion that I know something in my soul has often been challenged with a “prove it!”

When attempting to explain that this knowledge is a part of my testimony and that the knowledge was obtained through revelation, the charge is made that I have not really received knowledge and that my experience is totally subjective and therefore must be discredited and ignored.

Summary and conclusion

If you want an example of what I am trying to explain, go read the dialog in the comments of my essay on The Only True and Living Church. Especially note the comment about “retreating into the subjective bubble of your testimony.” How do you explain a testimony in a logical manner?

A testimony is not emotion, but it is accompanied by strong feelings. It is the result of study and effort to understand, and then confirming that knowledge in prayer. It is revelation and it is real. I wish I understood better how to explain it to those who have never experienced it themselves.

Critical thinking among faithful Mormons

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I’m motivated to share this essay based on much recent dialog between myself and a reader who calls himself Evangelical. Mr. Evangelical seems to be intelligent and writes well but also seems to be under a false impression that Mormons can’t think for themselves and that they don’t know how to think critically or objectively.

You can read some of his comments on my essays, “Are Mormons Christian?” or “The new Mormon History – Grant Palmer”, “Burning of the Bosom – Feelings from God,” and “Objections to the Book of Abraham.” I’ve enjoyed our dialogs but have been mystified by his lack of understanding of the Mormon testimony.

I have tried several times to explain and clarify the process of personal revelation but he just doesn’t seem to get it. If you want to have an intelligent conversation with Mormons, I suggest that it would be extremely helpful to understand what we mean when we refer to our testimony. He seems to equate it to emotional feeling.

The Mormon testimony

When Mormons say that they have a testimony, it is usually the culmination of several things. It is a combination of much study, intense prayer, some fasting, perhaps the giving up of some long-held habits or ideas and most importantly, the receipt of knowledge imparted directly to the spirit through the Holy Ghost.

And that’s the part on which I focus. I wonder if Mr. Evangelical thinks that we base our religious conviction purely on feelings, or more aptly, on emotions. As I tried to explain to him, feelings and emotions are two separate things. I don’t think I’m the only one that defines emotions as biological and feelings as spiritual.

It’s a difficult thing to define and even more difficult to explain the difference between the two, especially if you’ve never thought about it. We believe that one way God communicates with us is directly to our heart and mind. We call this revelation. Revelation is usually accompanied by feelings of the love of God.

The heart and mind

That’s why the sharing of a testimony by a Mormon can be such an emotional thing. It can be difficult to control the emotions when one remembers the feelings of love that accompanied the revelation received when praying about some truth. However, it is not the emotional reaction that constitutes the receipt of a testimony.

A testimony is revealed knowledge from God on some subject. We usually do not receive revelation without requesting it in prayer. When it is received, it may not come all at once. It may take hours, days or longer to have a prayer answered and to know the mind and will of the Lord on a subject that we want to understand.

We cannot pray our way to an understanding of things. We have to study things out, make a decision and then take it to God in prayer to ask for a confirmation. If it is a correct decision, we will feel it in our heart and know it in our mind. That is a different kind of knowledge that the world does not generally understand.

Inspiration and revelation

One of the best ways I can think of to describe revelation is to equate it to the process of receiving inspiration. Have you ever been faced with a problem and done some serious thinking about how to solve it? Then suddenly, perhaps when you are not thinking about it, an idea pops into your mind that helps to solve it?

We can safely call that inspiration. I attribute inspiration to God or to the influence of angels or to the Holy Ghost. Revelation is similar but in addition to studying a subject out, you then come to your own conclusion and present it to the Lord in prayer, asking specifically for a confirmation to know if it is right or wrong.

Most faithful Mormons are very familiar with this process and use it often, both in their everyday life and in their work in the church. We can pray for inspiration and ideas then come to us. We study things out, come to conclusions, and then pray for revelation. Sometimes it comes right away and sometimes we must wait patiently.

Study it out in advance

The point of this essay is that you can’t just pray your way to revelation. Although there are times when revelation comes unrequested, as in warnings, for the most part, we must study our subject, think about it, ponder it, analyze it and then come to some sort of conclusion before we ask for a confirmation of our conclusion.

That’s where the process of critical thinking comes in. Sometimes we get hung up on wanting to fully understand a subject by making sure that we read the opposing viewpoints. Strangely enough, this is not a necessary part of the process in coming to a knowledge of the things of God. And that is where we get criticized so much.

I do not need to know what the people who hated Joseph Smith had to say about him when I study his life. It helps provide background and historical context but it is not required reading to be able to say that I have critically thought about the man and his claims. I can study his work and then go directly to God for confirmation.

Criticism and critical thinking

The same is true for the process of studying the Book of Mormon. I do not need to read the criticisms of the book to be able to say that I have studied it and am ready to present it to God to know if it contains truth. The Book of Mormon should be able to stand on its own, without supporting documentation or opposing criticism.

People who are educated are used to the process of considering critical reviews as part of their objective studies of a subject. Unfortunately, sometimes they forget to include original research in their studies and never get around to actually reading the Book of Mormon, or selected portions of it, with the intent to understand it.

The Lord called the Book of Mormon a marvelous work and a wonder. I like that because it accurately identifies the method of the coming forth of the book to be very unorthodox. Angels, gold plates, Urim and Thummim, an uneducated farm boy – all these are unusual to say the least. How can one be objective about this?

Summary and conclusion

The Mormon testimony is not comprised solely of emotional feelings. Yes, it does contain that. Who could not help but be affected emotionally when God pours his love into your soul as part of the process of receiving a testimony? But the most important part of a testimony is the revealed knowledge that is spiritually received.

In order to receive the knowledge that we talk about when we bear our testimonies, we must have met the requirements of studying a subject and pondering it in our hearts and minds. Only then can we take it to God in prayer and ask for a witness of the spirit that what we have studied, pondered and concluded is God’s word.

We invite all people everywhere to study our claims objectively, listen to what we have to say about modern revelation and then to take it to God in prayer in an effort to receive the promised witness of personal revelation. I and millions of others can and do share our personal witness that this process works as promised.

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LDS Scriptures that teach this basic doctrine:

1. Moroni 10:3-5 – The promise of a personal witness
2. D&C 8:2-3 – The spirit of revelation defined
3. D&C 9:7-9 – We must study it out first

Reaching out to save the soul

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A long time ago a good friend saved my life. No, my physical life was not in danger, although I have no doubt he would have jumped in to save me if I were drowning or otherwise threatened. I was in danger of slipping away from church because of life’s circumstances. Gratefully, my friend stepped in to save me.

When I returned from my mission, I immersed myself in getting an education. I chose a vocational path and became a computer programmer. Anxious to get out into the world, I jumped at a couple of opportunities to practice my trade just as soon as I completed enough computer programming classes to make a living.

While going to school, I worked two part-time jobs as a computer operator at two different local businesses. When I graduated, I took on yet another part-time job as a computer programmer at one of the companies. So for the better part of a year, I worked three part-time jobs that left me little time for socializing or anything else.

Life forces us to make decisions

So there’s the situation – I’m busy during the week putting my new computer programming skills to work and then working the weekend graveyard shift as a computer operator. The weekend shift was twelve hours at a time. I did not get home until 7am Sunday morning and had to leave for work again at 5pm that night.

Can you see the problem? This was the year the new three-hour block schedule started and our ward met at 11am. I just couldn’t see a way to get the rest I felt I needed, get to church for my meetings and then get back to work all within twelve hours. So I chose to sleep as soon as I got home from work on Sunday morning.

When I woke up in the early afternoon, church was over and I had just a couple of hours to do anything else I needed to do before leaving again for work. I never felt good about my decision, but rationalized it by telling myself that I was saving up money to get married, buy a home and start a family – all desirable goals, right?

It’s so easy to go inactive

Right about this time, I moved out of my parent’s home and into an apartment with another returned missionary. He helped me keep in touch with friends in church and did everything in his power to get me to go out with him to ward Young Adult social activities. Because I worked so many hours, I was tired and often declined.

As long as I worked that extra weekend shift Mike was patient and understanding. Later that year I dropped all three part-time jobs to take on a new career in retail computer sales. I became the store manager for one of the newest Apple Computer stores in Southern California. Mike was then all over me to come back to church.

I now had no excuse but found it so difficult to go back. You see, I had gotten out of the habit. Not only did I not attend church, I also did not read the scriptures or pray on a regular basis. It was so easy to say to myself that I was too busy. As you can imagine I also did not pay my tithing, and let my temple recommend expire.

Results of church inactivity

In less than two years after having been a fired-up zone leader while serving as a missionary in Central America, I was now an inactive member of the church. How quickly things can change without intending them to do so. I did not plan on going inactive. I did not wake up one day and say, “That’s it – no more church for me.”

Carol has an analogy that she used while on her mission to teach investigators and new members about the importance of regular church attendance. When a hot coal is in the midst of a fire, surrounded by other live coals, it is on fire. If it gets moved onto the hearth and sits by itself, it soon grows cold and develops a film of ash.

Likewise, when we are actively involved in the church, attending our meetings and accepting callings, we have a tendency to remain fired up in the gospel. It is easier to keep a testimony strong while bearing it to others at church. Our desire to pray and to obey the commandments is strengthened while associating with the saints.

The call to repentance

Mike would not take no for an answer. I wrote in my journal about an occasion where we were talking after he returned from a trip to Utah to attend General Conference. He was excitedly telling me all about what he had seen and heard when he suddenly became very quiet and still. He then did something wonderful.

In a way that only two priesthood bearers who have spent two years of their lives testifying to the truths of the gospel can do, he looked me in the eye and bore his witness to me that the Lord needed me to serve in His church. What’s more, he reached into my heart and testified that I needed to return to church that Sunday.

I could not resist the power of that testimony. The spirit came into my heart and I expressed back to him that I knew he had spoken the truth and that he did it as a servant of the Lord. He had called me to repentance. My heart was softened and tears were shed. I told him that I would be in church that next Sunday and I was.

The hard road back to church

Mike must have planned something with the bishop because as soon as I showed up in church that Sunday, a counselor in the Bishopric called me into his office and asked me to serve as the assistant to Mike as the ward young adult representative. I started to attend planning meetings for the Young Adult activities for our ward.

It was not easy to return to full activity. I had been gone for almost a year. I still did not make it back to church every Sunday. In fact, you couldn’t say I was a fully active member again until almost a year later when I had received my temple recommend and accepted a new calling to teach the Elder’s quorum each Sunday.

Paying tithing became a habit again as did scripture reading, prayer, regular fasting and full participation in the temple. I found myself smiling and happy again and did not even realize that I had been gone. I felt like my old self and was excited to start dating LDS girls again just as my bride to be returned from her own mission.

Summary and conclusion

I will be forever grateful to my friend Mike who later became the best man at my wedding. He did something for me that changed my life and saved my soul. He called me to repentance. He acted on behalf of the Lord and helped me feel the spirit of the Holy Ghost again in great abundance, which I hadn’t felt in awhile.

You might say I was lucky. Not everyone has a friend like I had who was willing to reach out in love and speak on behalf of the Lord to my soul. It wasn’t luck. It was evidence to me of the tender mercies of the Lord. I would hope and pray that anyone who has left the church has someone come after them to bring them back.

Of course the Lord will not force anyone to rejoin his kingdom on the earth. He will always honor our agency. He does not love us any less if we choose to remain outside the fire, alone and cold on the hearth. But I shudder to think of what I would have missed had I not come in from the cold when invited in love to do so.

Where there is no vision, the people perish

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I have been a lifelong student of human motivation, particularly self-motivation. No, I’m not an expert and what motivates me may not motivate you. A long time ago I discovered something that drives me to action more than anything else. It is found in the scripture quoted in the title of this essay as written in Proverbs 29:18.

When I catch the vision of the way something can be that I want, I find myself willing to give untold hours to moving that vision from a dream to a reality in life. Conversely, if I have not seen myself doing something in my mind’s eye, I find my motivation lacking to do all the work that is required to accomplish a worthy goal.

This is particularly true when someone else has a vision but is ineffective in getting me to see it for myself. For example, you can tell me all day long about the great benefits of eating right and exercising regularly, but unless I see myself benefiting from good eating and exercise habits, I will always find other ways to use my time.

What’s in it for me?

As much as I hate to admit it, in some ways, my personal motivation is selfish. Oh, I have altruistic tendencies and a strong sense of duty that serves me well, but what really gets me excited to be involved in something worthwhile is when I can see how it benefits me, my family, my friends and others with whom I associate.

And I mean that literally – to see. I have discovered that I am a both a visual and a tactile learner. Auditory learning is tertiary to me and is most effective when I hear someone describing something that I can then see myself doing or enjoying. If you can show me how I can accomplish something, you’ve got my attention.

I’ve also discovered over the years, and as much as I may deny it, I enjoy both the satisfaction and the recognition that comes when I complete a difficult task, or when I perform to the best of my ability. I don’t think I am alone in this desire. Where we differ is in what we do to obtain that recognition and yes, admiration.

Role models are important

Think about it. Who are your heroes in life? And why are they examples to you? What have they done that deserves your admiration and respect? Usually it is because they have accomplished something difficult that you would like to do. They have demonstrated that it can be done and that it is worth paying the price.

Fortune and fame are two powerful motivating factors that many in our world will do anything, literally anything, to achieve. I don’t mean to disparage anyone, but Madonna and Britney Spears are two examples that come to mind as someone who has gone overboard in the climb to the top. Much has been sacrificed to get there.

On the other hand, for me personally, I have found great role models in the men who lead this church – the apostles and prophets of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Of course they are not perfect, but they do all within their power to lead others unto Christ. And from what I’ve seen, their wives are special too.

Sharing the vision

One of the reasons why I find it so enjoyable to follow the Brethren who lead this church is because most of them are so good at sharing their vision of the work in which they are engaged. I need that. While I enjoy the instruction I receive in General Conference, I am most spiritually fed when my vision has been enlarged.

Let me see if I can explain better what I mean by sharing the vision. When I was a young man preparing for my mission, I had the luxury of spending every day for the six months immediately prior to leaving, in daily gospel study, from morning until evening. I did not work. I simply read and studied the gospel and learned.

I felt like I was in paradise. I enjoyed a special sense of motivation at this time of my life because the Lord had given me a vision of what kind of a missionary I could be if I really understood the doctrines of the kingdom and knew for myself that they were important and true. I wanted to know how others explained them.

Understanding the doctrine

I read everything I could get my hands on that helped me to see how the gospel could most effectively be taught. I voraciously studied commentaries of others who I considered to be masters in the field of Mormon doctrine. As you can imagine, Bruce R. McConkie was one whose works I devoured incessantly.

My personal religious library had been recently augmented by a large collection of doctrinal and church history books received as a gift from my mother right after she closed her LDS bookstore. I studied all day, worked with the missionaries and then went to Institute classes and Know your Religion lectures with my family.

I caught a love of learning from my mother, but I did not obtain the vision of why it was important to obtain all the knowledge I could until the Lord showed it to me in answer to prayer. It is a sacred experience, but one I have related in a previous essay. With that vision, I understood why I needed to study and know the doctrine.

The vision motivates

Once the Lord showed me what I could accomplish with a deep understanding of the doctrines of the church, I had the drive and ambition to devote all my time to achieving that vision. The kind of vision I’m talking about is not something that can be given by another man, no matter how good he is at describing things.

That vision was intense and it was prophetic. It remains with me to this day, even though it has been thirty-two years since it transpired. It has not yet been fulfilled, nor will it be for many years to come. It is personal and sacred but it has done more for me than anything else to get me to continue my daily study of the gospel.

Because the Lord showed me things in vision when I was so young, I have always felt a desire to do all within my power to accomplish that vision. Perhaps it will not be in this life. Perhaps what I saw is intended to be fulfilled in the life to come. It does not matter. Because of that vision, I am motivated to study and to learn.

Summary and conclusion

I am fascinated by men and women with vision and who know how to share it. I am especially enthralled when listening to someone describe their vision in such a manner that allows me to see it for myself. Once I have that vision in my mind’s eye, I am a changed man, because I want to do all within my power to achieve it.

In my opinion, the visions of the Lord are the most motivating influence in the world. Men will give their lives, and many have, to building up the Kingdom of God upon the earth because they have the vision of what the Lord’s work really is. It is especially powerful when the Lord shows men their place in the kingdom.

I have seen that vision. I know what the Lord wants me to accomplish with my life. I feel extremely blessed to have received this powerful vision when I was so young. It has blessed me all my life and kept me motivated to do things that are hard to do. Someday, I know that vision will be fulfilled just as I have seen it.

Will ye also go away?

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After Jesus taught the sermon on the bread of life, some of his disciples said that he had taught difficult things. He asked if his teachings offended them and then added a few more things that clearly proclaimed that he was the Son of God. The response was immediate and very telling about why some people followed him.

“From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him. Then said Jesus unto the twelve, Will ye also go away? Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? Thou hast the words of eternal life. And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God.”

I am the bread of life

I have often wondered how the Savior felt to see the multitude leave him just after he had miraculously fed them and had shown forth such mighty miracles. Today, we read the sermon on the bread of life and perhaps do not see what it contained that was so difficult for the people to understand. Of course he is the Son of God.

But for some, what he taught was blasphemous and bordered on insanity. How could this man, whom they clearly knew as the carpenter, the son of Joseph and Mary, claim to have come down from heaven? And then when they called him on it, to claim that he would ascend to heaven to take his place with God once again?

He could not deny it

When Joseph Smith first told of his visit in the sacred grove from the Father and the Son to a local minister, he was amazed at the response. What he shared was looked upon as blasphemy, and from the devil. It was not orthodox and did not meet with their expectations of a religious experience – revelation did not exist!

And yet, he knew that what had happened to him was real. He could not deny it. He never wavered from his claim and spent his life in bearing testimony of what he had seen and heard. How relieved he must have felt when others joined him in bearing witness of visions and visits from celestial beings – Oliver and Sidney.

We can know for ourselves

Joseph was the recipient of knowledge that put him in a unique class. At one point in time, there was nobody else on the earth who knew what he did – that the heavens were open and that man can receive visions and visits from celestial beings. Of course some looked upon him as a crackpot, eccentric and unusual.

Over time, Joseph’s visions have been accepted by a large number of people, none of whom were there at the time he received them. Nonetheless, we who accept them also know for ourselves that they took place, through the simple process of revelation, as the result of inquiry in prayer. It is as if we had been there ourselves.

When counsel is hard

Today, we have been given added direction and counsel from living prophets that goes beyond what Joseph Smith revealed and is intended for our day. Just as some in the Savior’s day turned and followed him no more, some in our day have turned away from the Lord’s church because of direction that has seemed hard to follow.

In Joseph’s day, there were some who turned against him after he revealed doctrines that were hard to accept, plural marriage being the prime example. How it must have hurt him to see good friends become bitter enemies when all he was trying to do was that which the Lord told him had to be as part of the restoration.

Testimonies are tested

In our day, a letter from the First Presidency turned into a trial of faith for some who were already on the fringes and do not understand or accept doctrine that most in the LDS church and the Christian world in general accept as being the standard of moral behavior – that marriage ordained of God is between a man and a woman.

Some have turned away and have decided that what they once felt and knew to be the true church of Jesus Christ could no longer possibly be true if the leaders of the church could ask us to do something so hard – to uphold morality in our society. It makes me wonder at the depth of their revelatory experiences with the Holy Ghost.

Knowledge from the spirit

We are counseled to seek knowledge by study and also by faith. Eventually, if we are faithful, we are going to come to the point in our lives through continued gospel study where we can feel relatively comfortable that we have mastered the basics of our religion. At that point, some things can only be taught by the spirit.

This is an area where we must be very careful because we can have revealed to us things that are not commonly or openly taught in the standard curriculum of the church. I want to be clear if we are receiving our knowledge from the right spirit then what we learn will always square with what prophets have taught in the past.

Signs of the times

I am confident that most of us agree that we live in the last days. The signs of the times are unmistakable. I am convinced, and have written several essays to this point, that we are on the verge of seeing prophesied cataclysmic and catastrophic events fulfilled in the very near future. The topic comes up more often these days.

Isn’t it reasonable to expect that the Lord would be willing to reveal to those who diligently inquire, just exactly how these events are going to transpire? It does not require that one be a General Authority to have the Lord reveal knowledge of the signs of the times that will be fulfilled with the approach of the Second Coming.

Summary and conclusion

We live in difficult times. These are also times of testing. Yet, the Lord is willing to reveal to us what we need to know to pass the tests and to be prepared for the future. This is not the time to turn away from the Lord because of the difficulty of the test but a time to turn to Him in study and prayer so we can be more faithful.

We do not have to walk alone. Our tests are not the same as those required of the Savior or of Joseph Smith. They were considered to be unorthodox and eccentric because of their unique knowledge. We can have that same knowledge if we but study it out and ask for it. That knowledge can keep us in safely in the Lord’s fold.

Mormons are brainwashed – lying for the Lord

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Kalvin, a fairly regular visitor to my blog, recently wrote, “You have no rational defense of your religion. It’s clear you’ve been brainwashed, just like every little kid who’s told to bear testimony until they have a testimony.” As this is a common accusation that is much repeated on various Internet forums where Mormonism is discussed, it is worthy of consideration and response.

I suspect that the source of this claim of brainwashing is from an address by President Boyd K. Packer to new Mission Presidents back in June of 1982 as they prepared to lead their missions and help their missionaries be effective and productive. As is common in any mission, or at least it was in mine, there are always some missionaries who are still solidifying their testimonies.

President Packer’s remarks are found in the January 1983 Ensign article, The Candle of the Lord. He relates, “It is not unusual to have a missionary say, ‘How can I bear testimony until I get one? How can I testify that God lives, that Jesus is the Christ, and that the gospel is true? If I do not have such a testimony, would that not be dishonest?’ Oh, if I could teach you this one principle:

“A testimony is to be found in the bearing of it!”

He continues, “Somewhere in your quest for spiritual knowledge, there is that ‘leap of faith,’ as the philosophers call it. It is the moment when you have gone to the edge of the light and stepped into the darkness to discover that the way is lighted ahead for just a footstep or two. ‘The spirit of man,’ is as the scripture says, indeed ‘is the candle of the Lord.’ (Prov. 20:27.)

“It is one thing to receive a witness from what you have read or what another has said; and that is a necessary beginning. It is quite another to have the Spirit confirm to you in your bosom that what you have testified is true. Can you not see that it will be supplied as you share it? As you give that which you have, there is a replacement, with increase!

“The skeptic will say that to bear testimony when you may not know you possess one is to condition yourself; that the response is manufactured. Well, one thing for sure, the skeptic will never know, for he will not meet the requirement of faith, humility, and obedience to qualify him for the visitation of the Spirit.” And that, of course, is the key to testimony – the Spirit of God.

Bear testimony to receive testimony

A testimony is one of the hardest things to define. For some, it will never seem to be rational. “Can you not see that that is where testimony is hidden, protected perfectly from the insincere, from the intellectual, from the mere experimenter, the arrogant, the faithless, the proud? It will not come to them. Bear testimony of the things that you hope are true, as an act of faith.

“It is something of an experiment, akin to the experiment that the prophet Alma proposed to his followers. We begin with faith—not with a perfect knowledge of things. That sermon in the thirty-second chapter of Alma is one of the greatest messages in holy writ, for it is addressed to the beginner, to the novice, to the humble seeker. And it holds a key to a witness of the truth.

“The Spirit and testimony of Christ will come to you for the most part when, and remain with you only if, you share it. In that process is the very essence of the gospel. Is not this a perfect demonstration of Christianity? You cannot find it, nor keep it.” Many years of experience with this principle have taught me that this is true. My testimony is strengthened only as I share it.

Lying for the Lord

For some reason, apostates are appalled at this process of bearing testimony of things that you hope are true. They call it “Lying for the Lord”. I think this misconception comes from our use of the word testimony in the church in a manner that is different from how it is used in society and especially in a court of law. In a legal testimony, you only state facts as you know them.

That is not how we define the word testimony in the church. From the glossary on Mormon.org, we read that a testimony is “Knowledge, received by revelation from the Holy Ghost, of the divinity of the Savior and of gospel truths. Members regularly take the opportunity to share individual testimonies for the purpose of strengthening one another.” It is an awesome thing.

I can always tell when something is really important by how viciously it is attacked in writings of the apostates. Satan knows that testimony is the key to conversion and the key to faithfulness. If he can cast doubt on testimonies, especially in the area of how they are received, then he can make inroads in defeating that soul. Yes, the method of receiving a testimony can be illogical.

A rational defense

I’m not sure if I don’t disagree with Kalvin. I’m not sure that I can make a rational defense of my religion or of my testimony. There are so many parts of it that are not logical. No matter how hard I try to explain the logic behind my reasoning, someone will always be able to shoot holes in my logic. So why try? I know some will disagree with this, but to me, faith is not logical.

That doesn’t mean that faith, religion and testimony are not desirable. They are, at least to me. I love my faith. I appreciate my religion and am eternally grateful for my testimony. They mean the world to me. It’s just that I can’t always explain them to others in such a way that they are as desirable to them as they are to me. You see, my testimony is not transferable even when shared.

In the words of President Packer, I have tasted salt, spiritually speaking, and cannot explain to you adequately enough that you will understand unless you too have tasted spiritual salt as well. Many who read this will understand. Others will not. It is not something that can be explained by any rational method. The only way that you will get it is if you do as President Packer taught.

Summary and conclusion

I can appreciate that to some, the idea of teaching and bearing testimony of something that you do not completely yet know to be true can be illogical and bearing false witness. In the course of my church service, I have done as President Packer counseled many times. I studied something out and then taught it, not knowing for certain that it was true. That changed as soon as I did.

I can’t tell you how many times I have been fed by the spirit of the Lord as I stood and taught the truths of the restoration, not yet having a perfect testimony of their reality. In fact, most of what we teach cannot be proven from first-hand knowledge. I wasn’t there when Joseph said he was visited by the Father and the Son, nor was I there when Joseph said he was visited by angels.

Nonetheless, I can and do bear witness of the reality of these events just as surely as if I had been there. How can I do that? Because as I have done so, I have received knowledge into my soul directly through the Holy Ghost, bearing witness to me that what I was teaching was true. That is not brainwashing. That is spirit washing and to me, it is one of the most desirable of all things.

Faith and fear cannot coexist within us

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I see the world through a spiritual perspective developed at age 18 while preparing for a mission. In a previous essay, I shared my sacred experiences in gaining a testimony. I did not think they were all that unique at the time. I thought everyone else followed the same formula. Blogging over the last year has been a real eye-opener for me. Not every member has this same certainty.

Elder James Hamula, sustained in April 2008 General Conference as a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy said, “If there is anything that qualifies me for this calling it is the testimony that I gained at age 18 while I prepared for a mission. I had a most remarkable experience where I received a strong witness of the divinity of the Lord and of His Church.”

Like me, he read of how the young Joseph Smith wanted to know what was right, and felt that he too needed to go to the Lord in prayer. “So I knelt at my bedside and earnestly prayed to the heavens. And in response I got an answer that was as clear and as unmistakable as anything that I’ve experienced in life. I got up off my knees knowing that the Church was true.” I did as well.

Testimony as a process

On the other hand, I compare what I experienced and what Elder Hamula described, with this story that Elder Carlos Godoy shared in the Oct 2008 Sunday afternoon session of General Conference. He told of being asked by a Sunday school teacher to share some powerful spiritual experience that he had received while developing a testimony of the church. He was unable to think of one.

He felt a little uncomfortable being put on the spot. After all, he was an Area Seventy, and should have something impressive to share. He felt the disappointment of the Sunday school teacher that he had nothing to offer but later expressed his feelings in a testimony meeting. You can read his powerful testimony at the end of his talk. He includes all the major elements.

Elder Godoy said, “Sometimes we think that to have a testimony of the Church, we need some great, powerful experience, or a single event that would erase any doubts that we have received an answer…” I suspect this statement is a great comfort to many who have gained their certainty of the gospel and the church without any one great spiritual experience to which they can point.

Certainty is the basis of faith

Sometimes when I make assertive comments while blogging, some readers will write back that they find my certainty offensive. When I teach the gospel or when I share my understanding of some principles of the gospel, I am used to stating things in a positive, matter-of-fact manner. I enjoy this feeling of certainty about my testimony and always have. I thought every member did.

I once wrote, “Those who have once enjoyed the spirit of the Lord in their lives and then lose it through sexual impurity are unable to exercise faith because faith and fear cannot exist in a person at the same time. Lust invites the unclean spirits of the unseen world to use your body for a time. As these spirits are fearful by nature, those who lust soon become fearful themselves.”

When I made this particular comment, this individual responded that he had never heard such a thing. The whole idea of faith and fear being unable to co-exist in a person at the same time is certainly not something that I just dreamed up myself. This is typical of comments I have shared on my blog that are based on things I have read from general authorities and in the scriptures.

Fear is the opposite of faith

Boyd K. Packer taught clearly that fear is the opposite of faith. We find this in the scriptures many times. The Lord encourages us through the prophet Joseph, “Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.” He also helps us understand why we do not receive revelations. When there are fears in our hearts, we cannot receive a blessing such as a spiritual witness.

I have read many essays on the Bloggernacle defending the idea that doubts about the gospel are good and not anything of which we should be ashamed. I think this stems from the culture of the church where we are always expressing everything in as positive a manner as possible. Those who do experience doubt seem to feel that there is something wrong and that they don’t fit in.

I’ve thought much about how and why this culture of certainty can be offensive to some. I think it is because they perceive the expressions of testimony and certainty as being unfounded fluff with nothing substantial to back them up. They use the examples of little children bearing their testimonies and ask how they could possibly know for certain that God lives and loves them.

Become as a little child

One of my favorite scriptures has always been Mosiah 3:19 about the natural man. The angel who taught King Benjamin made it clear that we must make an effort to put off our natural tendencies to doubt, be skeptical and untrusting. We learn that we must become as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love and willing to submit to all things from God.

When I learn a new concept of the gospel that I am told is important by someone I trust, usually a priesthood leader or a General Authority, it is sometimes easy to put it aside because it is new to me and I do not yet understand the importance of the doctrine or principle. My patriarchal blessing reminds me that I must make an effort through study and prayer to make it a part of me.

One of the best ways to internalize a new doctrine is to teach it to someone else. It has been my experience that when I really want to confirm my faith in something new that I have learned, I take the opportunity to share it in a testimony meeting or make it part of a lesson I am asked to teach. When I bear testimony of the truthfulness of the concept, it is always burned into my soul.

Certainty is a gift of the spirit

It takes child-like faith to accept new doctrine, study it out, and then bear testimony to others. It takes patience to be submissive to the Lord’s tutoring method of studying and teaching in order to know for ourselves. Sometimes the Lord tries our faith and does not send the confirming witness of the spirit until after we have taught a doctrine that is new to us over a long period of time.

This feeling of certainty in spiritual things is a gift from God. It has served me well all my life. It is something for which I am extremely grateful. I work hard to keep this sense of certainty strong. Yet I am well aware that the receipt of the witness of the spirit confirming what I have studied and taught is a gift from God. For me, it only seems to come after I teach it publicly.

To some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know that Jesus is the Son of God, and that he was crucified for the sins of the world. To others it is given to believe on their words, that they might also have eternal life if they continue faithful. I find my testimony is a mixture of knowing and believing. Some things I know for myself. It is this knowledge that gives me that certainty.

Summary and conclusion

I am impressed by the number of attorneys that I find on the Bloggernacle who present such logical arguments when they write their essays. They are proficient in arguing a point and clearly proving it by the expert use of their long-practiced skill. I do not possess that talent and have no desire to develop it at this point in my life. My essays are based more on what I feel.

I have long felt that doubt has some basis in fear. Perhaps it is the fear of change for some. For others it may be the fear of having to make their actions conform to new knowledge presented and then accepted. The Lord tells us to be believing. That means to accept what we are taught by prophets and apostles in spite of doubts and fears. Study it out – teach it to others in faith.

The spiritual perspective I developed at age 18 gave me that certainty I have needed to serve a mission, to accept leadership callings, and especially to teach the gospel. I know that faith is a real power. At times it is illogical and yet it casts out fear. With headlines that seem to scream fear, the certainty of faith is a better way to view life as we prepare for the return of the Lord.