What intrigued me was the challenging nature of the defensive statements he offered when the story became public knowledge. He said that he didn’t expect everyone to agree with his decision to allow the demonstration to take place and that “thoughtful discussion of controversial topics is a cornerstone of learning.”

I happen to be enrolled in a critical thinking class right now so this idea caught my attention. While I don’t agree with his decision, I do agree with his statement. So I expected someone to take him up on his challenge, because he offered it as such. Maybe it is too soon but I have yet to see a serious response to his justification.

An Argument to Illuminate Reasoning

A couple of days after the story broke, professor Bailey continued his defense by saying that he would give an F to those who objected to his teaching method. He wrote that the responses conveyed disapproval but did not “illuminate reasoning.” Apparently he has yet to receive an explanation as to why his demo was a problem.

I hope someone with more knowledge of this subject will respond to his proposal for a thoughtful discussion and offer a few reasons why his demonstration was not the best choice. I’m looking for arguments that will illuminate reasoning and do more than to just express disapproval. I could use it when I argue this in my class.

The Man who would be Queen

A little more background information on professor Baily might be helpful.  He wrote and published a controversial book in 2003, The Man who would be Queen: The Science of Gender-Bending and Transsexualism. He admitted that he had sex with his research subjects and said he thought there was nothing wrong with this.

Coincidently, about that same year he found himself divorced and no longer the chair of the psychology department at Northwestern University. According to published reports from students, he is not a great lecturer, but makes up for it by presenting extremely controversial aspects of human sexuality in his classroom.

Teaching Should Benefit Society

I love to teach so maybe this is an area in which we can agree. Professor Bailey is an educator; therefore I’ll assume that it is his intent to help his students learn. As a professor of psychology, I would hope that it is his desire to prevent psychological damage in his students. After all, isn’t that the objective of studying the subject?

We study human behavior to understand it and to be able to deal more effectively with activities that are disturbing, distressing or problematic for the individual or society. For most practitioners, a goal of applied psychology is to benefit society. A university professor is in a particularly influential position upon civilization.

Pornography in the Classroom

Professor Bailey said he uses pornography in his classroom. “I don’t see anything wrong with showing pornography in the classroom provided it has some purpose in the class. Some can be a little explicit,” he said. “I teach the truth – as I understand it…[which] sometimes conflicts with people’s assumptions. That is controversial.”

Bill Yarber, a researcher at Indiana University’s Kinsey Institute and author of the widely used textbook Human Sexuality: Diversity in Contemporary America, said he’s never heard of a naked woman being brought to orgasm in front of a class of students. Watching a video is one thing but seeing a live demo is pushing things.

A commentary from a Catholic blogger about this episode illustrates a typical reaction, “Professor J. Michael Bailey’s Human Sexuality class has nothing to do with psychosexual development, morality, biology — nothing worthy of study; just an excuse for presenting risqué and deviant sexual behaviors as normative.”

Sexual Relations Should be Private

It is my contention that demonstrating the use of a motorized phallus to a group of students is not a legitimate form of sexual education, especially in the classroom. In fact, I will go so far as to say that viewing of pornographic material is equally inappropriate and unnecessary to meet the requirements of human sex education.

I believe that sexual relations should be expressed privately in marriage, between a husband and wife. I therefore believe that all public displays of sexual activity are inappropriate. I believe that pornography is harmful and destructive to the souls of those who create it and those who consume it. It is not needed for sexual education.

Professor Bailey’s demonstration was controversial because as far as I can tell, it was the first time live sex has been used in a classroom setting. But the real issue is how diametrically opposed this is to the values of virtue, modesty and respect for human sexual relations. It is degrading and cheapens it to something undesirable.

Achieving a Fulfilling Love

I think the comment of a student studying to be a therapist who then reported on her human sexuality class says it best for me. She stated that she had become a sexual zombie; that sex meant nothing to her because she had tried it all. She found no joy in sexuality. And yet she wants to become a therapist to fix others like her.

Pornography is any material describing or depicting the human body or sexual conduct in a way that arouses sexual feelings. Pornography degrades the heart, mind and spirit. It robs us of self-respect and the sense of beauties of life. It tears us down and does not lift us up. It does not help us achieve fulfilling human love.

I will be leading a classroom discussion of this current event in my critical thinking class in a few weeks. When I shared my subject with the professor he was pleased and said that I might be surprised to learn how many in the class feel the same way I do. That would be a pleasant discovery that I hope is not limited to my college.

I’m still trying to understand what it means to really keep that covenant each day.  Some days I do better than others.  Sundays are a joy to me because I spend them in activities that are centered on the mission of the church – to invite all to come unto Christ.  It’s during the week that I sometimes struggle to remember Him.

I suppose it’s a life-long pursuit, isn’t it? – To figure out how to really come unto Christ as we have been commanded to do. As Moroni taught, “Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness … love God with all your might, mind and strength …” – Moroni 10:32

Another Book of Mormon prophet taught, “And now, my beloved brethren, I would that ye should come unto Christ, who is the Holy One of Israel, and partake of his salvation, and the power of his redemption. Yea, come unto him, and offer your whole souls as an offering unto him …” – That’s found in Omni 1:26.

I think I understand Moroni’s instruction to deny ourselves of all ungodliness.  I get that.  It means to resist temptation and to do all within our power to control ourselves.  The Holy Ghost helps us with that task, by making it clear what is offensive to the Lord.  To me, knowing what is displeasing to the Lord is half the battle.

The Gift of the Holy Ghost

Like me, I’ll bet you’ve experienced that feeling when the spirit impresses you with an understanding that something you just said or did was not an especially good idea.  I’ve even caught myself saying, “Well, I’ll never do that again!” I then store those feelings somewhere where I’ll remember them in a similar situation.

I’ve always felt the Holy Ghost helping me with this growth process in my life.  I can testify that he is real and that he really does help us.  The Gift of the Holy Ghost is a treasure, one that I deeply appreciate and try to use each day.  In fact, I like to think that the Holy Ghost and I are good friends since we talk so much.

We have running conversations at work.  I tell God what I’m trying to accomplish and how I plan to go about doing it.  Then when I get stuck on some part of my task, I exclaim, sometimes out loud, “Now that didn’t work right, did it?  What should I do?”  And you know, impressions come to me to try a different method.

I have no doubts about the revelatory process.  It has become a very comfortable part of my daily life.  After years of practice, it has become second nature to talk with the Lord and to listen for his answers.  I don’t know if God has assigned a computer-savvy angel to work with me but I do know that someone is helping me.

I hope that you feel the same way and from conversations over the years I know many of you do.  Isn’t that a wonderful gift – to have the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost?  And it is because of the Sacrament that we are able to have that gift always.  How I love the Sacrament and the promised blessings to be found therein.

Offer your whole soul

It’s that second scripture in Omni that I’ve been pondering lately and trying to understand.  What does it mean to offer your whole soul as an offering unto the Lord?  I’d like to consider that with you today as part of my assigned topic to come unto Christ.  I’ll call upon Elder Bednar and President Eyring to help us along.

But first I’d like to share a story from Sister Nadauld who served as the Young Women General President a few years back.  You may remember this.  It touched me deeply at the time she related it and it still does each time I share it.  Although it is simple, it is a powerful story that introduces our subject in a touching manner.

Sister Nadauld is the mother of seven sons. Two of them, Adam and Aaron are twins.  When they were about five years old they were just learning to ride their bicycles.  Can you think back to those days in your own life?  I can, even though it was a very long time ago.  Of course having home movies helps my memory now.

As their mother glanced out the window to watch her boys, she saw the twins speeding down the street on their bikes going very fast.  “Perhaps they were going too fast for their level of ability because all of a sudden Adam had a terrible crash!  She saw him tangled up in a wreck of handlebars and tires and arms and legs.

“His little twin brother, Aaron saw the whole thing happen and he immediately skidded to a stop and jumped off his bike.  He threw it down and ran to the aid of his brother, whom he loved very much.  These little twins truly were of one heart.  If one hurt, so did the other.  If one got tickled, they both laughed.

“If one started a sentence, the other could complete it. What one felt, the other did also. So it was painful for Aaron to see Adam crash! Adam was a mess. He had skinned knees, he was bleeding from a head wound, his pride was damaged, and he was crying.

“In a fairly gentle, five-year-old way, Aaron helped his brother get untangled from the crash, he checked out the wounds, and then,” related Sister Nadauld, “he did the dearest thing. He picked his brother up and carried him home. Or tried to. This wasn’t very easy because they were the same size, but he tried.

“And as he struggled and lifted and half-dragged, half-carried his brother along, they finally reached the front porch. By this time, Adam, the injured one, was no longer crying, but Aaron, the rescuer, was. When asked, “Why are you crying, Aaron?” he said simply, “Because Adam hurts.”

“And so he had brought him home to help, home to someone who knew what to do, to someone who could cleanse the wounds, bind them up, and make it better—home to love.  Just as one twin helped his brother in need, so might we all be lifted, helped, even carried at times by our beloved Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.”

He feels what we feel

Sis Nadauld concluded her touching story by pointing our hearts toward the Savior.  “He feels what we feel; He knows our heart. It was His mission to wipe away our tears, cleanse our wounds, and bless us with His healing power. He can carry us home to our Heavenly Father with the strength of His matchless love.”

From this story I have come to understand better one purpose of the Lord’s mission, which is to heal us.  I have felt that healing power many times in my life, and again, it is activated most by my weekly participation in the ordinance of the Sacrament.  I still suffer the pains of life, but feel strengthened by his love for me.

Through a lifetime of experience, I have also come to understand very clearly another important part of the Savior’s mission.  He has cleansed me from the effects of my sins.  Although repentance is an ongoing process that I will use the rest of my life, I have felt the cleansing power of the Savior free me from the devil’s grasp.

There is no doubt that the effects of sin are real.  They have a very debilitating influence upon our spirits.  Sin keeps us from feeling good about ourselves and keeps us from feeling the Lord’s love for us.  He is also unable to bless us with the help that we need in this life when we participate in sin and do not completely repent.

I have long loved this statement from President Harold B. Lee that I first heard in my youth: “If the time comes when you have done all that you can to repent of your sins … then you will want that confirming answer as to whether or not the Lord has accepted of you.”  I have felt this desire to know my standing before the Lord.

I can’t tell you how many times I sought an answer from the Lord to know if I had done enough to repent of my youthful rebellions.  President Lee continued, “In your soul-searching, if you seek for and you find that peace of conscience, by that token you may know that the Lord has accepted of your repentance.”  I love that!

I testify that we can have that promised peace of conscience that comes after doing all we can do to repent.  It is a real experience.

Clean Hands and a Pure Heart

But it is from a powerful Fall 2007 General Conference address by Elder Bednar I learned something that opened my eyes to the need to do more than be cleansed from sin.  He took my understanding of the repentance process to a different level.  He introduced the idea by quoting one of my favorite scriptures from Psalm 24:

“Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord?  Or who shall stand in his holy place?  He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity nor sworn deceitfully.”  He then said, “Brothers and Sisters, it is possible for us to have clean hands but not have a pure heart.”  I had never considered that.

Elder Bednar then taught us so clearly, “Let me suggest that hands are made clean through the process of putting off the natural man and by overcoming sin and the evil influences in our lives through the Savior’s Atonement. Hearts are purified as we receive His strengthening power to do good and become better.”

“All of our worthy desires and good works, as necessary as they are, can never produce clean hands and a pure heart. It is the Atonement of Jesus Christ that provides both a cleansing and redeeming power that helps us to overcome sin and a sanctifying and strengthening power that helps us to become better than we ever could by relying only upon our own strength. The infinite Atonement is for both the sinner and for the saint in each of us.”

Did you catch that last line?  It was an “ah-ha” moment for me when I heard it.  I knew the Lord could heal me and could cleanse me but I had not understood how the atonement makes me a saint.

I know that I am a child of God.  I know that he loves me.  I know that I can be and am happy when I repent and make efforts to put off the natural man.  I feel at peace with God when I fully accept the love Jesus offers me in bridging the gap between my efforts to repent and what is required to be fully cleansed from my mistakes.

But it is the purifying of my heart that has long eluded me.  I know I have a good heart because I am pained by sin and always want to do better, but the strength of the natural man is sometimes so great that it almost overcomes me.  I cry out in my prayers that I just don’t see how I can be the man that I know God wants me to be.

That our Hearts May be Purified

Do you remember what the people in King Benjamin’s day said after they had heard the words of the angel that he shared with them?  “… they all cried aloud with one voice saying: “O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified.”

I think most of us get it when we talk about receiving forgiveness.  We know it comes through the atonement of Christ.  But that’s not all that we can receive each week as we partake of the sacrament.  We can also have our nature transformed and our hearts purified.  Our desires to do good and to become a saint can be strengthened.

Do you ever find yourself full of the spirit on Sunday and saying, “I feel great!  I feel so close to my Heavenly Father and my Savior.  I know that they love me.  I’ve been spiritually fed and uplifted at church today.  I can do all those hard things that I know I should.  I’m going to be so much better this week.”  I have.

And then sometime during the week, after an exhausting day at work or an especially trying day with the kids or with the demands of others upon your time, you find yourself saying, “I just can’t do it anymore.  I’ve had it.  I just don’t want to do all the hard things that are asked of me.  It’s too much.  I can’t put up with all these difficult demands.”  What happened to that Sunday determination?

Well, that’s what Elder Bednar was trying to teach us – how to have our very nature changed so that our desires to do good are strengthened.  It is through the ordinance of the Sacrament that we come unto Christ, put off the natural man, and become a saint.  We can have our hearts changed so that we no longer desire evil.

But, and this is my concluding thought, we must offer to the Lord our whole soul in exchange for the purifying of our hearts.  For me, that means determining in my heart and mind before I partake of the sacrament that I am going to do whatever the Lord asks of me that week.  Wow!  That’s a scary thought, isn’t it?  Can I do it?

Must I do everything that I feel prompted of the Lord to do?  Yes, for me, that is what it means to offer my whole soul as an offering to him.  The Tabernacle choir sings a hymn that illustrates this so beautifully for me.  It’s called, “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.”  The line that describes this process goes like this:

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above.

May God take our offering and purify our hearts is my prayer.

President Boyd K. Packer

In one of our ward leadership meetings yesterday, I was asked to share the spiritual thought.  I thought about several things that I have pondered and written about lately and asked in prayer what would be best for that occasion.  D&C 100:5-8 came to mind.  I would like to elaborate on that here with the hope that it might be helpful for someone else who happens upon this essay.

I was first introduced to this scripture in seminary as we studied church history.  I was impressed with the basic promise of the Lord to Joseph and Sidney that he would inspire them and back up what they said when they spoke.  “That’s wonderful for them,” I thought at the time.  I’m glad the Lord gave them this promise because it must be hard to always know the right thing to say.

A powerful mission president

One of the joys of my mission was being taught by a man whom I already greatly admired for his devotion to religious education.  I had attended several Know Your Religion lectures presented by Joseph C. Muren in the year before I left for Central America.  Halfway through my mission I was delighted to learn that he had been called to preside over the mission in which I was serving.

Zone conferences with President Muren were simply amazing.  I don’t know how or why I was so blessed, but I will never forget the excitement I felt as President Muren taught us the principles of the lacing together effect.  He helped us to understand how natural it is for new converts to want to share their newfound faith with beloved family members and friends close to them.

A unique interpretation of scripture

During one particularly spiritual Zone Conference, President Muren taught us the importance of being teaching and testifying missionaries.  We weren’t having too much success getting the investigator to pray in the first discussion.  He powerfully demonstrated how he would like us to conclude the first discussion by kneeling in prayer and inviting the family to join us as we did so.

He then shared section 100:5-8 and testified that the Lord would put words into our mouths to know what to say that would bless the family the most with what they needed at that exact time we were there.  I remember thinking to myself at the time that this was going to be a leap of faith for me to go from something the Lord gave to Joseph to something I should use in my labors.

Applying the scripture in our work

So out we went to be a bit bolder in our teaching, testifying and challenging.  I vividly remember the first time we went to our knees at the end of a first discussion.  The family looked more than a little surprised but followed our lead.  After explaining what we were about to do, I opened my mouth to pray.  Something special and sacred happened at that moment that is hard to explain.

After thanking Heavenly Father for the blessing of being able to teach that particular family about Joseph Smith’s first vision, I began to bless the family.  I found that I was not asking Heavenly Father to bless them, but that I was pronouncing blessings upon them that I knew they needed.  I was astonished, as was my companion, but not nearly as much as that special family.

Powerful results of faith

At the conclusion of the prayer, I opened my eyes and witnessed a grown man sobbing as he was overcome with the spirit.  His wife and three children, who were teen-agers, still on their knees, moved closer to him and we quietly watched as they shared a sacred family hug.  Slowly, we stood and silently waited.  When the man stood, he extended his hand and thanked us profusely.

“How did you know?” he asked.  “What do you mean?” I replied.  “How did you know to say those things you did?  You blessed us that we would have family unity and good communication between us.  You blessed us that our love for one another would be strong and that we would be able to overcome any financial difficulties that we might be experiencing at this time.”

The Lord stands by his promises

“I didn’t know,” I responded, “but your Heavenly Father did and he inspired me with what to say that you needed to hear.”  We made an appointment to return in a few days and quietly excused ourselves as it was evident that the family had some things that they wanted to discuss among themselves at that time.  The spirit was strong with all of us and we fairly floated out of there.

As my companion and I talked about this sacred experience I found myself saying, “You know, President Muren was right.  The Lord sends His spirit to bear witness to whatever we feel inspired to say when we do it in the spirit of solemn meekness and love.”  Now, not all of our discussions went like that but we sure had a lot more of them after that with similar results.

Service over the years

Fast forward seventeen years.  By this time I had a family and had served in several teaching and priesthood leadership positions in the church.  Our little inner-city ward was dwindling and I was juggling multiple callings because of lack of people to share the load.  I was beginning to feel a little burned out when we were privileged to attend a multi-stake conference with Elder Holland.

This was 1994, just before the death of President Benson and before he was called as an apostle.  I greatly admired the man, having read many of his BYU talks over the years.  I was impressed that Elder Holland was concerned about the one, even though his assignments brought him into teaching environments where there were hundreds, if not thousands who gathered to hear him.

Taught by a General Authority

As we gathered in our conference priesthood leadership session, Elder Holland began to teach us the importance of speaking and teaching under the influence of the spirit when we are standing in front of a congregation or a class.  He then quoted D&C 100:5-8 and promised us that as we exercised faith in teaching the gospel, we would know what to say at the moment it was needed.

Even though I had witnessed this scripture fulfilled in my mission, I had not been as successful in my teaching assignments over the years since then.  I tended to over-prepare and always had more material than I could possibly present.  As a result, I found myself rushing through the lesson in an effort to fit as much in as possible.  I always felt exhausted after these experiences.

Pause while bearing testimony

Elder Holland then did something that I have rarely seen anyone do with such effect either before or since.  He told us that it is important that we pause after we teach a principle of the gospel so that the spirit can work on the people.  He then dramatically demonstrated this by slowly bearing his testimony and pausing to let the spirit sink it.  It was profound.  Silence can be so powerful!

This was an answer to prayer.  I was going so fast when I taught that the spirit didn’t have time to settle in people’s hearts when I bore my testimony.  I felt extremely grateful and wanted to get back to my ward to try this out.  I didn’t have to wait that long because Elder Holland asked for a volunteer to demonstrate this principle in action.  I soon found myself at the front of the chapel.

Practice is part of preparation

He asked my name and said, “Brother Malone, I want you to simply bear your testimony, but I want you to pause after each sentence as you look your brethren in the eye. Now, go ahead.”  I turned and faced hundreds of priesthood leaders including Bishops, Stake presidents, Elder’s Quorum Presidents and lowly ward executive secretaries and quorum instructors like me.

Maybe it was because I had a man who was about to be called as an apostle standing next to me but something sacred and special happened on that occasion that has rarely happened quite so powerfully since.  I did as Elder Holland taught and watched in amazement as men quietly began to wipe tears from their eyes as I bore witness to the truths of the restored gospel that I love.

Give the spirit a chance to work

When I was finished, Elder Holland invited me to sit down and then said very slowly and very quietly, “You see brethren, the Lord stands by his promises.  When we teach and bear testimony in solemnity of heart and in the spirit of meekness, the Holy Ghost is shed forth in bearing record to whatsoever we say because it is what the Lord inspired us to say at that moment.”

It was another one of those sacred moments for me.  I was immersed in the spirit while I was bearing testimony.  The Lord was strengthening me and bearing witness to me at the same time that I was bearing my witness to others.  I love that special and sacred experience and wish that it occurred more often in my life.  It took an apostle to teach me how to bear testimony with power.

Summary and conclusion

President Packer has said, “A testimony is to be found in the bearing of it.”  Because this is such a powerful principle, it has been attacked by the adversary through enemies of the church, many of them former members who never quite got it.  They like to call it lying for the Lord and claim that the bearing of testimonies to one another is simply a form of brainwashing in an evil cult.

President Packer is right.  There is nothing that can equal the experience of testifying of the truths of the gospel while under the influence of the spirit of the Holy Ghost.  D&C 100:5-8 can be one of the most difficult scriptures to internalize.  It takes a great deal of faith to trust that the Lord will inspire us but I know from experience that he does send his spirit to bear record to our words.

I served in the Costa Rica San Jose mission from August of 1976 to August of 1978. The first two months were spent learning Spanish in the LTM in the old Knight-Magnum hall on the BYU campus. We were one of the last groups to be housed there. All the missionaries after us enjoyed the new facilities of the MTC.

The decision to go on a mission

Up until the day I turned 19 years old I wasn’t sure that I would be going on a mission. Although I grew up in the church, I went through a short period of rebelliousness in my late teens in which I did not attend church for about six to ten months. That all changed when I went to Rick’s College in the fall of 1974.

While there I experienced a mighty change of heart as I listened to prophets and apostles who came to teach us in the weekly devotionals. For those who remember LeGrand Richards, I attribute my desire to serve a mission directly to his amazing testimony of the joy that attends the missionary bearing witness of the restoration.

An idealistic missionary

I wrote a little about that experience in a previous essay. I made up my mind about a year later when I watched and listened to President Kimball teach us that every worthy young man should serve a mission. So I prepared and finally sent in my papers in June of 1976. Three weeks later I was thrilled to receive a mission call.

I wanted to be the kind of missionary that I heard about from LeGrand Richards. I wanted to be a teaching and testifying missionary and so I spent the last six to ten months before my mission studying the doctrines of the restoration so I could feel prepared. I studied, fasted, prayed and did everything to strengthen my testimony.

The shock of reality

I felt I was ready but still, I was in for a shock when I got to the LTM. Anybody who has served a foreign language mission knows what I am talking about. From day three in the LTM we were to only speak our mission language. That was one of the most frustrating experiences of my life so far but it was extremely effective.

By the time I got to Central America I thought I could communicate fairly well in Gringo Spanish. Shock! The native people do not speak slowly and they had very funny accents. Of course, they said my accent was funny and didn’t hesitate to laugh when I spoke. That was tough but they laughed at my companions as well.

Discipline of memorization

In those days we memorized the discussions word for word. Every morning for the first two months of my mission I memorized those discussions until I had passed them all off. From then on I felt like I could concentrate on conversational Spanish and began to feel that I could understand and be understood. Spanish became easy.

To me, learning Spanish in less than six months was a miracle and one of the gifts of the spirit. Once I had the language down, I then focused on being the kind of missionary that LeGrand Richards had caused me to see in my mind’s eye a few years earlier at Rick’s College. We had plenty of opportunities to teach each day.

Teaching and baptizing

Teaching forty discussions in a week was a normal goal for our mission. Some days we taught ten or twelve discussions. We had no problems being invited in as we were tracting so teaching and testifying were everyday activities. Amazingly, I began to recognize early in each discussion those who were sensitive to the spirit.

Without resorting to kiddie baptisms like John Dehlin talked about in his mission, the typical missionary baptized sixty to eighty converts during their two years in Central America. There were four countries in my mission and we could only stay in each county six months. So we changed companions about every six weeks.

First half of my mission

The first half of my mission as a junior companion in Honduras and Costa Rica was a preparatory time for me. I learned a lot from my senior companions. After that I was sent to Panama as a senior companion and then to Nicaragua as a zone leader. We had great success in every county but especially in the poor areas.

In Panama, we found and taught a family that to me, made my time in the mission worth the price. When I think of my mission, I think of the Delgado family. They responded to the spirit and worked hard to qualify for baptism. The way we found them was a miracle and their sweet influence on our whole district was profound.

A vision fulfilled

It was in Panama that I found myself literally fulfilling the vision I had seen of myself as a missionary while at Rick’s College. After teaching a first discussion, we invited a family we had just tracted to kneel with us in prayer. Something special happened during that prayer that brought tears to the eyes of the family.

While still on our knees I testified to them that what they had felt was the spirit of the Holy Ghost bearing witness to the truthfulness of the message that we taught. We asked for and obtained a return appointment and left feeling blessed, knowing that the Lord fulfills his many promises to back up our testimony with his spirit.

Conclusion of my mission

When I arrived in Managua, I was amazed to discover that 85% of the membership in our little branch did not attend church. This was by far the highest inactivity rate we had discovered and we worked hard to change it. By the time we left Reparto Schick, the attendance had increased to 35% and we had new baptisms.

It was just a few months later that civil war engulfed this nation that had already been devastated by an earthquake that had destroyed their capital city. The stories of the missionaries coming out of the area were both frightening and amazing as they bore testimony of the hand of the Lord in protecting them in getting out.

The Returned Missionary

I came home determined to keep my testimony strong. But the transition for a missionary can be difficult. I found myself accepting a job that required working on Sundays. Slowly that fire became dim until I was able to change jobs and get back to regular church attendance. How I missed and appreciated church again!

Soon I met Carol and embarked on a whole new journey of learning to love and serve my own family. Because of what I learned on my mission, I feel I became a better husband and hopefully a better father than I would have been otherwise. I love serving in this church and appreciate the foundation I received on my mission.

Conclusion and summary

It’s hard to summarize the two-year Mormon mission experience in just a few short paragraphs. But if there is one thing I learned and cherish to this day, it is the fact that the Lord really does fulfill his promise that “the Holy Ghost shall be shed forth in bearing record” unto the things we say when speaking the thoughts he gives us.

The knowledge, gained by two years of testing and proving it as a missionary, has served me well in many callings since that day. I love to teach the gospel. What I love most about it is the feeling I get when I teach and bear testimony to the truth. The feeling is indescribable other than to say that it is delicious and most desirable.

And yet, how much of our time each day is spent in reading scriptures and studying the gospel? Actually, I’d like to separate those into different activities. A verse by verse, chapter by chapter reading of the scriptures is one type of activity that can bring great blessings. You can feel very satisfied at having completed a task and a sense of accomplishment as you finish each chapter.

On the other hand, gospel study is more thematic and in my opinion, closer to what the Savior asks us to do when he invites us to search the scriptures. For many members of the church the only gospel study they get is obtained in Sunday school class or Priesthood and Relief Society meetings. Far too few of us have a regular gospel study program to understand doctrine better.

Educating the Saints

Members of the LDS church are at all kinds of different levels in their response to the Savior’s admonition to study His word. I know adult members of the church who have been members all their lives who have never read the Book of Mormon. Seriously. They come to church faithfully each week and enjoy listening to the discussions in class, but rarely add any insights themselves.

Then there are members in our midst who know the scriptures backward and forward and bless us as they teach our Sunday classes, and in our seminaries and institutes. Over the years, I have served with some priesthood leaders who are scriptorians, and with some who know the gospel, but are always saying, “I know it says somewhere…” Which do you think were more effective?

If we have been even partly conscientious in our efforts to follow the prophets over the years, we should be able to say that we have read the Book of Mormon a least a few dozen times by the time we reach middle-age. If we follow along with the reading schedule in our Gospel Doctrine class we will have also read the other Standard works seven to ten times by the prime of life.

Why we study the gospel

The objective of gospel study is to feed our souls. President Hinckley called it nourishing by the good word of God. I have felt this nourishment through classroom instruction and in my regular personal gospel study. It is a real thing and something that our spirits crave. Gospel study brings deep and powerful contentment when coupled with a close relationship with God through prayer.

Some people absorb this spiritual nourishment better in the classroom where they can discuss what they are learning with others. They may find it difficult to really get anything out of the scriptures without someone to guide them. I enjoy both classroom instruction from inspired teachers and the deep feelings that come in pondering from personal gospel study activities.

I have found that my personal gospel study has evolved over the years. When I was a missionary I focused almost exclusively on the basic doctrines I was teaching in the standard discussions. I added a lot of church history and a whole lot of the more uncommon theological doctrines to my personal study when I returned from my mission. Lately, I have studied controversial topics just so I could understand what the controversy was about and so I could discuss them intelligently.

Controversy does not satisfy

I have noticed over the past few years, as I have studied and written about the more speculative and controversial topics that the spiritual nourishment has not been the same as that which I get from the basic doctrines of the restoration. While it may be more intellectually stimulating and emotionally exciting, it does not feed my soul with the comfort of the basics of the gospel.

I’ve pondered about why that is and have come to the conclusion that, while I may have reached some unique understandings of the speculative doctrines, I have had a difficult time sharing that research with others in a manner that they feel comfortable. They have not had the advantage of digging into the same sources so they can’t share in my enthusiasm for what I have discovered.

So while I plan to continue my efforts to understand some of the theology that is not commonly taught or discussed in our Sunday classes, I do not feel that it does much good to help nourish my soul because I can’t share it. On the other hand, when I teach or speak about the comforting doctrines of salvation from the pulpit, I am greatly nourished and edified with my fellow saints.

Nourishing others in church

Elder Packer counseled us to teach the doctrines of salvation in simplicity. He said there is great power and safety in this approach. He challenged us to become proficient and expert in our ability to present the basic doctrines in such a way that our listeners understand the truths being taught and that they are also fed by the spirit of the Lord, which is beyond our natural ability.

I recognize that this can be difficult for some to accept, because they are looking for intellectual stimulation when they come to church. That is a problem. If you have been a member of the church for more than a few years, chances are that you have heard all the basic Sacrament topics and the Sunday school subjects more than a few times. We’re just not teaching any new stuff.

When Elder Holland visited our stake many years ago, he taught us about the importance of being edified. When we teach, we are not just imparting information, we are also charged with the task of being a conduit for the spirit to work through us in feeding the souls of others. To be edified is to be both instructed and uplifted. The Lord was serious when he said, “Feed my sheep.”

Summary and conclusion

The Lord asks us to study the gospel and be very familiar with the scriptures because he wants us to both be nourished and to be able to nourish others. I suspect that there are too many of us who have not yet understood the idea of nourishing. Sharing knowledge, facts, history, and scriptures without helping others find the hand of the Lord in that information is not helpful to our souls.

We are so much more than minds that need more information. We live in a world of information overload and yet there are so many among us who are starving for the things of the spirit. We are not asked to stand in front of a class or at the pulpit to demonstrate how well we can rehearse the basic tenets of our doctrine. We are charged to nourish and to feed the soul – not the mind.

That’s a real talent. No, it’s a gift – a gift of the spirit that needs to be requested of the Lord in prayer. As we study the gospel, especially the basics of the restored gospel, we should ask the Lord for help in understanding how we can effectively teach what we are studying. We need to teach in such a way that the Lord can work though us to answer the prayers of those we teach.

I later asked my family what they thought. “Oh, it was nice,” was the response I got from almost everyone. It wasn’t until I asked one of my older sisters for her opinion that I got an idea. “Well, you certainly knew what you were talking about,” as if to imply that she had no clue. That was my first experience in speaking over someone else’s level of understanding.

I didn’t think such a thing was possible. My sister was a BYU graduate and had sat through four years of mandatory religion classes but she didn’t understand my efforts to teach the basics of the conversion process that I was so excited to have experienced. I had spent the previous six months of my life going through an intense immersion in spiritual things and wanted to share it.

Not everybody is at the same level

Now this may seem like a very rudimentary piece of advice to share, but it is a major key to a successful teaching or speaking experience in the church. Sometimes in our zealousness, we can over-prepare and find ourselves teaching things that require much more time to understand the background information before the actual point can be accepted by the listeners or students.

For example, what if I were to tell you that there is absolutely no concurrent written record of one of the most important events in the history of the church? I’m referring, of course, to the restoration of the Melchizedek priesthood. We have Joseph’s record in the History of the Church 1:72, indicating that it would be conferred in time, but we do not know the exact date.

Now this may not seem to be a big deal, but to a historian, the lack of an original source document attesting to this fact is tantamount to a lie. The story is that the event was recorded in an early edition of Joseph’s history, but someone apostatized and took it with him. It was never seen again. Never mind that Joseph and every other prophet since has testified that it happened.

Implied occurrence of events

We have the word of thousands who have declared that the event did occur. For example, President Hinckley said, “We do not know exactly where it took place, but, from the description given, it was not far away. Nor do we know the exact date. However, by piecing together various accounts and bits of history, we may assume that it occurred in the following month of June.”

Do you see my point? It is a simple thing to state, “I know the Melchizedek Priesthood was restored to Joseph Smith through Peter, James and John.” That’s all that really needs to be said. There is just no need to say anything more unless asked. Nothing needs to be said about the incomplete historical record. It’s not like we’re hiding anything or trying to deceive anyone.

When the missionaries first teach about the restoration of the priesthood or when it is taught in seminary or institute classes, there is usually no mention made of this little fact that we have no actual written record of the event. I’m not a historian and I’m not a scientist trained in the importance of empirical evidence so I don’t know why this is such a big deal with some people.

To bear witness

Knowing that we possess no first-hand journal evidence attesting to the visit of Peter, James and John does not stop me from adding my witness that I know it occurred as Joseph said it did. What? How can I say that? I wasn’t there. There were no witnesses other than Joseph and Oliver and neither one recorded it in a journal on the day it happened. How can I be a witness?

Ah, there is the beauty of the gift of the Holy Ghost and the promise of personal revelation as found in Moroni’s promise: “And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.” President Packer gave us a wonderful corollary to this promise when he said that “a testimony is to be found in the bearing of it.” It takes a leap of faith to do this.

I have taught this principle so many times that it has been ingrained into my soul by the spirit of the Holy Ghost. I could no more deny it than I could deny that I was born in Covina, California in 1957. I don’t remember the event but I’m told I was there. I have much evidence of the fact. Having or not having a birth certificate does not change the fact that I was born and I live.

Milk before meat

Back to the point of this essay. I know some people hate the analogy of milk before meat. Wait, that’s not an analogy, that’s scripture. Didn’t Paul say that? Yes, here it is in Hebrews 5:12-14. I’m sure you know what it says. The principle is that we simply don’t and can’t teach some of the more deep or obscure doctrines of the church before investigators or new converts are ready.

If you have ever taught a Primary class you know what I am talking about. That is the obvious example but unfortunately, it still applies even to whole congregations at the ward, stake and entire church level. The Brethren are so very careful when they prepare their General Conference talks to not present material that might be confusing or easily misunderstood.

I know what they are going through. I have experienced the same thing so many times as a High Council speaker. As much as I wanted to talk about some of the complex and difficult nuances of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, I felt impressed by the spirit to keep my talk simple. I felt I should only bear witness to those things that are easily explained and understood.

Summary and conclusion

I have studied the restored gospel of Jesus Christ all my life. I continue to do so and hope to do so until the day I pass into the spirit world. I love the wonderful discussion that is occurring on the Internet as so many other faithful members of the church share their understanding of the gospel and experiences in living it. Unfortunately, there are also some not so faithful dialogs.

I have yet to find a conflict between what I know and what is supposed to be shocking as found on the anti-Mormon, ex-Mormon or post-Mormon websites. I’ve confessed previously that I have visited and read many of the things on those websites. I read books that are considered controversial or apostate. I enjoy the research but not the conclusions of D. Micheal Quinn.

I guess I have simply come to different conclusions about the history of the church than Grant Palmer, Mike Quinn and others who have found what they consider to be irrefutable evidence of falsehood, lies, a cover-up and re-write of our history. As I’ve said before, I haven’t seen it. What I have seen is the Kingdom of God rolling forth in glory until it will fill the whole earth.