Category Archives: Faith

Spiritual experiences as a foundation for faith

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josephplatesI have been intrigued by Blake Ostler’s 2007 FAIR conference presentation entitled, “Spiritual Experiences as the Basis for Belief and Commitment.”  I have read it several times and have decided that Blake is on to something that I would like to develop further.  As you can see I have modified his title a little bit for use in my essay.  I highly recommend you read his essay first.

I’m going to focus on two points he made as he was answering questions towards the end of the presentation.  The first is this: “Memory, and what we do, is changed every time we think about it and remember it.”  The second is this: “All logic is ex post facto to prove what we already feel is true.”  Keep those points in mind as I advance some ideas on my experience with revelation.

Youthful revelatory experiences

Like Blake, I had some remarkable revelatory experiences when I was young that impressed me at the time but have impressed me even more as I have pondered and remembered them over the years.  I have written about them previously, but will list them here to provide some background.  Don’t think that these sacred events were easily obtained or casually absorbed.  They weren’t.

I was taught and believe that we cannot live on borrowed light.  Throughout my Seminary and Institute experience, I must have heard dozens of lessons on how vitally important it is to obtain our own witness of the spirit in order to remain committed to the church and the gospel in later years.  My teachers taught me and the spirit confirmed that I could receive personal revelation.

Foundational spiritual events

The first revelatory experience to which I’ll refer was obtained while I was a student at BYU Idaho.  I was seventeen years old and very immature but very impressed with a testimony I had heard that week from an Apostle of the Lord.  That weekend in my room I prayed fervently for many hours to know for myself that what he had said was true and important for me in my life.

The next impressive spiritual event in the development of my testimony was the next year when I was eighteen years old and preparing myself to serve a mission.  I have also shared this one in a previous essay.  The experience was equally as impressive as the first one though it was perhaps deeper in meaning and implication.  These are part of my early foundational spiritual memories.

Deep impact on my faith

These were not my only youthful revelatory experiences.  I have recorded several others in my journals that came almost unbidden during the years before my mission.  Although I received them as a result of prayer, the effort was not as intense.  In other words, I did not pray for many hours or fast for days to obtain the other experiences.  Nevertheless, they were just as powerful.

Because of these events, I was able to go through the difficult and rigorous experience of serving as a missionary without looking back and wondering why I decided to sacrifice like that for two years.  I had these sacred memories burning in my heart and being added unto with additional everyday assurances from the Lord that I was engaged in his work and that he was appreciative.

Working with imperfect people

Life marches on.  An education is obtained, a marriage is solemnized in the temple, a family is raised and increasing responsibilities in a career and in the church are rewarding and fulfilling.  As sometimes happens, I begin to learn things about my faith, and especially about the people in it that are at first disturbing and then disappointing.  I experience some logical inconsistencies.

Cognitive dissonance can be a painful experience when it includes people from our world who are in authoritative positions.  For example, a beloved bishop from my youth became inactive after he was released.  How could this happen?  He represented the Lord to me in interviews that I held sacred.  He helped me resolve several youthful problems and encouraged me to be faithful.

Imperfections even at high levels

Another bishop from my youth is disciplined after fiscal improprieties in his business dealings are revealed.  I learn of divorces of people whom I admired, some of whom were influential in my youth.  I then begin to learn of difficulties in higher levels of the church – stake presidents who lose their testimonies and announce to their congregations that they are leaving the faith.

A promising general authority is excommunicated for breaking the law of chastity.  I discover that an apostle was excommunicated for this very same reason less than forty years earlier.  How is this possible – a modern apostle excommunicated?  I can understand it happening in the early days of the church but not in our day and age.  These are men of God.  Tell me this wasn’t so!

Sacred things exposed and mocked

I discovered that a former ordinance worker in the temple had recorded the temple ceremony and then published it.  How could he do that?  I hold the temple sacred and have enjoyed so many wonderful experiences there over the years.  What could cause him to lose his faith and reveal something that means so much to me?  Did he never have any spiritual experiences of his own?

From the earliest days of the church there have been those who have not been impressed with the sacred nature of the temple and have exposed things that they have covenanted to keep sacred.  In our day there are those who claim to have received the second anointing and then describe it on the message boards of those who hate the church.  Something’s not right with this picture.

Not all members receive revelation

I used to think that everybody in the church had spiritual experiences similar to those I enjoyed in my youth.  Over the years, I have come to realize that this is not the case.  Can that be true even for those who have served as bishops, stake presidents or even general authorities?  In my opinion, yes – personal experience has shown this to be so.  Not all members receive revelation.

That has been an amazing thing for me to contemplate.  Was I just extremely lucky or blessed to believe that I could receive revelation when I was so young?  Several visitors to my blog over the years have tried to convince me that I did not receive revelation.  They have suggested that what I experienced was a form of self-hypnosis, or simply the effect of a frenzied, emotional state.

Memories can be enlarged

Back to Blake’s two points, memory first.  I have come to realize that although my early spiritual experiences occurred nearly thirty-five years ago, they are clearer in my mind now then when I first experienced them.  The combination of pondering them and writing about them has helped me to understand that there was much more detail in the experiences than what I first thought.

As Blake pointed out in his essay, this helps me to understand why Joseph Smith could recount the same First Vision experience differently in each of the accounts he relates over the years.  I was so focused on determining my own standing before God in my first youthful manifestation that I had overlooked how deeply and powerfully the Lord spoke to me about missionary labors.

How to explain all this

Blake’s second point was that all logic is created to prove what we already feel is true.  I have had prima facia experiences that overrule any logical inconsistencies I have encountered in what I have learned about the history and people of this church as I have studied it in more depth.  In effect, I have not really experienced cognitive dissonance at all because the spiritual trumps logical.

Let me restate that.  My spiritual revelatory experiences with the Holy Ghost early in my life have proven to be so powerful that it seems that no matter what kind of troubling things I may learn about the men who run or have run this church, I feel inoculated and immune to their effect.  My evangelical friends call this “living in the protective Mormon bubble of a testimony.”

Summary and conclusion

My experiences with the Holy Ghost are not going to be the same as yours.  They may be similar or they may be completely different.  For me, these revelatory events in my youth have provided a foundation for my experiences in this church thus far.  I have encountered much imperfection and weakness in the men who run it, but the spiritual witnesses of my life have protected me.

The bottom line is that I continue to believe that the LDS Church is what it claims to be when it was setup through the prophet Joseph Smith in 1830.  The simple fact is that we can know this for ourselves through revelatory encounters with the Holy Ghost.  No matter what negative things I discover, nothing can overcome the strength of that personal witness if I remain worthy.

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Note about the illustration: This artist’s conception of Joseph translating the Book of Mormon is one that is highly criticized by some members of the church.  They feel it is disingenuous because it does not show Joseph using the seer stones in the hat.  It also shows the plates in plain view of Oliver which was not the case.  Joseph was not to show them to anyone unless commanded of the Lord.

Elder Packer was right about bearing testimony

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President Boyd K. Packer

President Boyd K. Packer

In one of our ward leadership meetings yesterday, I was asked to share the spiritual thought.  I thought about several things that I have pondered and written about lately and asked in prayer what would be best for that occasion.  D&C 100:5-8 came to mind.  I would like to elaborate on that here with the hope that it might be helpful for someone else who happens upon this essay.

I was first introduced to this scripture in seminary as we studied church history.  I was impressed with the basic promise of the Lord to Joseph and Sidney that he would inspire them and back up what they said when they spoke.  “That’s wonderful for them,” I thought at the time.  I’m glad the Lord gave them this promise because it must be hard to always know the right thing to say.

A powerful mission president

One of the joys of my mission was being taught by a man whom I already greatly admired for his devotion to religious education.  I had attended several Know Your Religion lectures presented by Joseph C. Muren in the year before I left for Central America.  Halfway through my mission I was delighted to learn that he had been called to preside over the mission in which I was serving.

Zone conferences with President Muren were simply amazing.  I don’t know how or why I was so blessed, but I will never forget the excitement I felt as President Muren taught us the principles of the lacing together effect.  He helped us to understand how natural it is for new converts to want to share their newfound faith with beloved family members and friends close to them.

A unique interpretation of scripture

During one particularly spiritual Zone Conference, President Muren taught us the importance of being teaching and testifying missionaries.  We weren’t having too much success getting the investigator to pray in the first discussion.  He powerfully demonstrated how he would like us to conclude the first discussion by kneeling in prayer and inviting the family to join us as we did so.

He then shared section 100:5-8 and testified that the Lord would put words into our mouths to know what to say that would bless the family the most with what they needed at that exact time we were there.  I remember thinking to myself at the time that this was going to be a leap of faith for me to go from something the Lord gave to Joseph to something I should use in my labors.

Applying the scripture in our work

So out we went to be a bit bolder in our teaching, testifying and challenging.  I vividly remember the first time we went to our knees at the end of a first discussion.  The family looked more than a little surprised but followed our lead.  After explaining what we were about to do, I opened my mouth to pray.  Something special and sacred happened at that moment that is hard to explain.

After thanking Heavenly Father for the blessing of being able to teach that particular family about Joseph Smith’s first vision, I began to bless the family.  I found that I was not asking Heavenly Father to bless them, but that I was pronouncing blessings upon them that I knew they needed.  I was astonished, as was my companion, but not nearly as much as that special family.

Powerful results of faith

At the conclusion of the prayer, I opened my eyes and witnessed a grown man sobbing as he was overcome with the spirit.  His wife and three children, who were teen-agers, still on their knees, moved closer to him and we quietly watched as they shared a sacred family hug.  Slowly, we stood and silently waited.  When the man stood, he extended his hand and thanked us profusely.

“How did you know?” he asked.  “What do you mean?” I replied.  “How did you know to say those things you did?  You blessed us that we would have family unity and good communication between us.  You blessed us that our love for one another would be strong and that we would be able to overcome any financial difficulties that we might be experiencing at this time.”

The Lord stands by his promises

“I didn’t know,” I responded, “but your Heavenly Father did and he inspired me with what to say that you needed to hear.”  We made an appointment to return in a few days and quietly excused ourselves as it was evident that the family had some things that they wanted to discuss among themselves at that time.  The spirit was strong with all of us and we fairly floated out of there.

As my companion and I talked about this sacred experience I found myself saying, “You know, President Muren was right.  The Lord sends His spirit to bear witness to whatever we feel inspired to say when we do it in the spirit of solemn meekness and love.”  Now, not all of our discussions went like that but we sure had a lot more of them after that with similar results.

Service over the years

Fast forward seventeen years.  By this time I had a family and had served in several teaching and priesthood leadership positions in the church.  Our little inner-city ward was dwindling and I was juggling multiple callings because of lack of people to share the load.  I was beginning to feel a little burned out when we were privileged to attend a multi-stake conference with Elder Holland.

This was 1994, just before the death of President Benson and before he was called as an apostle.  I greatly admired the man, having read many of his BYU talks over the years.  I was impressed that Elder Holland was concerned about the one, even though his assignments brought him into teaching environments where there were hundreds, if not thousands who gathered to hear him.

Taught by a General Authority

As we gathered in our conference priesthood leadership session, Elder Holland began to teach us the importance of speaking and teaching under the influence of the spirit when we are standing in front of a congregation or a class.  He then quoted D&C 100:5-8 and promised us that as we exercised faith in teaching the gospel, we would know what to say at the moment it was needed.

Even though I had witnessed this scripture fulfilled in my mission, I had not been as successful in my teaching assignments over the years since then.  I tended to over-prepare and always had more material than I could possibly present.  As a result, I found myself rushing through the lesson in an effort to fit as much in as possible.  I always felt exhausted after these experiences.

Pause while bearing testimony

Elder Holland then did something that I have rarely seen anyone do with such effect either before or since.  He told us that it is important that we pause after we teach a principle of the gospel so that the spirit can work on the people.  He then dramatically demonstrated this by slowly bearing his testimony and pausing to let the spirit sink it.  It was profound.  Silence can be so powerful!

This was an answer to prayer.  I was going so fast when I taught that the spirit didn’t have time to settle in people’s hearts when I bore my testimony.  I felt extremely grateful and wanted to get back to my ward to try this out.  I didn’t have to wait that long because Elder Holland asked for a volunteer to demonstrate this principle in action.  I soon found myself at the front of the chapel.

Practice is part of preparation

He asked my name and said, “Brother Malone, I want you to simply bear your testimony, but I want you to pause after each sentence as you look your brethren in the eye. Now, go ahead.”  I turned and faced hundreds of priesthood leaders including Bishops, Stake presidents, Elder’s Quorum Presidents and lowly ward executive secretaries and quorum instructors like me.

Maybe it was because I had a man who was about to be called as an apostle standing next to me but something sacred and special happened on that occasion that has rarely happened quite so powerfully since.  I did as Elder Holland taught and watched in amazement as men quietly began to wipe tears from their eyes as I bore witness to the truths of the restored gospel that I love.

Give the spirit a chance to work

When I was finished, Elder Holland invited me to sit down and then said very slowly and very quietly, “You see brethren, the Lord stands by his promises.  When we teach and bear testimony in solemnity of heart and in the spirit of meekness, the Holy Ghost is shed forth in bearing record to whatsoever we say because it is what the Lord inspired us to say at that moment.”

It was another one of those sacred moments for me.  I was immersed in the spirit while I was bearing testimony.  The Lord was strengthening me and bearing witness to me at the same time that I was bearing my witness to others.  I love that special and sacred experience and wish that it occurred more often in my life.  It took an apostle to teach me how to bear testimony with power.

Summary and conclusion

President Packer has said, “A testimony is to be found in the bearing of it.”  Because this is such a powerful principle, it has been attacked by the adversary through enemies of the church, many of them former members who never quite got it.  They like to call it lying for the Lord and claim that the bearing of testimonies to one another is simply a form of brainwashing in an evil cult.

President Packer is right.  There is nothing that can equal the experience of testifying of the truths of the gospel while under the influence of the spirit of the Holy Ghost.  D&C 100:5-8 can be one of the most difficult scriptures to internalize.  It takes a great deal of faith to trust that the Lord will inspire us but I know from experience that he does send his spirit to bear record to our words.

We don’t know everything but we know enough

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And just because I think that the church is doing a great job with these Mormon Messages, I include the latest one here with a few comments. I’ll bet hundreds, if not thousands of other Latter-day Saints are adding these videos to their blogs as well.

Wouldn’t it be great if more people viewed the words of living prophets and apostles like Elder Andersen? This was not from the most recent conference but it sure struck a chord with me when I heard it. I love the idea of being able to exercise simple faith.

There’s no way we can know everything about the purpose of life, the doctrines of the gospel, the history of the church, the scriptures and all the other stuff we have to cram into our little heads to make a living and to have a happy family. But, we can know enough!

We can know enough to be happy. We can know enough to realize that we can leave the big things up to God while we focus on the things that he asks us to do for right now. This video illustrates the idea of having that security, even as a little child.

Even a child can understand

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As a follow-up to my previous essay about how difficult it is for some people to understand or accept the restored gospel of Jesus Christ because they intellectualize it way too much, I offer the following video clip of Elder Gerald Causse. It expresess beautifully how easy it really is to understand the gospel that even a child can understand it.

It reminds me of how much I loved teaching Primary a few years back because of the joy, innocence and simple faith of the 11-year old children I taught. They knew the restored gospel was true because of both the feelings they had and the whisperings of the spirit that accompanied our discussions of the gospel in their language.

The hope of a Savior and Redeemer

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“For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God,” Paul informs us in Romans 3:23. To commit sin is to willfully disobey God’s commandments or to fail to act righteously despite a knowledge of the truth. Many in the world do not believe in sin or in repentance from sin. In fact, some do not even believe in God.

The central theme of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ is that He is our Savior and Redeemer and that through His atonement, we can obtain forgiveness of our sins. These phrases don’t mean much to those who don’t believe in God or Christ, but they fill with hope those who understand and accept that there is sin in this world.

A Savior is one who delivers from a predicament or an unavoidable trap. Paul also taught us in Romans 6:23 that, “The wages of sin are death.” Sometimes those who are young reject the idea of spiritual death because physical death seems so far away. With maturity, they are more inclined to believe and to want to learn.

The household of faith

Those who are born and raised in a home of faith, where the good news of the gospel is believed and taught, have so much the advantage over those who have neither heard of Christ nor understood the role of repentance in their lives. I had that advantage and will be forever grateful to a mother who taught me to believe.

However, being taught the gospel as a youth places an added responsibility on us. That burden is that we have at least an intellectual understanding of the principles of the gospel. Whether we believe them or not is a different story. It is difficult to pass faith from one generation to the next. The secret is example and pure love.

And yet, children have their agency and can choose to believe or not believe. If the acceptance of the world around them is stronger than the acceptance of their own family, it makes it difficult to choose to believe. Peer influence in a young person’s life can be so much more powerful than the teachings of a loving parent.

Born in the covenant

Life sometimes has a way of leading a rebellious youth to the realization that the path of faith is real, even if it is difficult and not the way of the world. It can be a harsh awakening for a child born in the covenant to understand that they can never be the same as the world around them. Their promises and expectations are great.

Because they have been born in the covenant, their parents have a special claim on them, no matter what their level of belief or obedience. That phrase has a unique meaning in our church and carries with it an understanding of promises, made both by God and by the parents. The children born to such a marriage inherit promises.

Sometimes children born in the covenant reject the faith of their parents and decide to live after the manner of the world – in a state of unbelief. True faith, as found in the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, is a powerful thing but is foreign to those who do not believe. Faith is different from belief. You can’t have faith without belief.

Invited to believe and be faithful

There comes a time in every person’s life when they must choose to believe or to not believe in God and His ways. I can say that because we are clearly taught that such a choice is the primary purpose of this life. That choice is presented over and over again until it is clearly established that such faith will be accepted or rejected.

In fact, the role of the Holy Ghost in this life is to entice us throughout our journey to a path of faithfulness. The parents of the rebellious teenager or young adult who has been given the Gift of the Holy Ghost, can constantly ask the Lord to help the child recognize the enticing of the spirit in their lives. That is part of the promise.

I am convinced that as long as the parents pray for that child and ask the Lord to soften the child’s heart towards the gospel of Jesus Christ, that the Lord is bound to honor that request because of the promises inherent in being born in the covenant. He will send the Spirit to prick the heart of that child at the request of the parents.

The Savior will receive and forgive

I have seen numerous examples of rebellious children returning to the faith of their parents many times over the years. Sometimes it is dramatic and shocking to see the difference in the child as the light of the gospel begins to shine in their face. They go on missions, marry in the temple and begin to raise their own families.

But it does not always work like that. Sometimes too much time has passed. A mission is out of the question. That’s OK. They can serve later in life. Many do. Sometimes a marriage in the temple is not forthcoming because of an unbelieving spouse or divorce has already visited the young family, leaving a single parent.

But in spite of poor choices early in life, the Lord is eager to forgive and to bless. He holds out his arms to the wayward child, just as the parents have done for so many years. But the Savior offers something that the parents can never provide – healing and peace. He also offers hope of deliverance from the despair of sin.

Summary and conclusion

We all need our Savior. None of us can save ourselves from the effects of our sins. We cannot wash ourselves free of the contamination of wickedness. Only the Lord Jesus Christ can do that for us. He offers that gift freely, to young and old, parents and children. He offers to redeem us from death and hell and an endless torment.

Members of the LDS faith have an additional understanding of what it means to be saved from death, hell and endless torment. We have additional scripture, as found in the Book of Mormon that teaches us plainly of the significance of redemption. We find great hope in what we learn there about our Savior and His love for us.

Our hope is in Jesus Christ. We proclaim Him to the world to be our Savior and Redeemer and the Son of God. We know Him. We love Him. We worship Him. We preach of Christ and teach our children to believe in Him. I will be forever grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who reveals His Son to those who obey Him.

Image: The Prodigal Son, Artist: Clark Kelley Price

Faith, Magic and a Patriarchal Blessing

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Patriarchal blessings are wonderful things. They are especially wondrous when received at a young age. The promises in them almost seem magical because the idea of righteous living as a cause and effect of fulfillment of those promises is usually not understood at a young age. There is nothing magical about the blessings, just as magic is not really a part of our faith, or is it?

Magic is something that Walt Disney brought to my world when I was a young lad. I grew up in Southern California in the 1960’s when Disneyland was new and exciting and full of promise. We watched it grow over the years and visited the park almost as often as we visited the beach. Those were the days of the E ticket ride, when the Matterhorn bobsleds were the hottest thing.

The magic for me was found in the Carousel of Progress and the beautiful city of the future depicted in the scale model under glass. It was only there from 1967 to 1973 – the years in which I moved from childhood to the responsibilities of youth. It was in the Carousel of Progress that I caught the excitement of technology and the role that it would play in my life.

A promise of what could be

Every time we visited Disneyland and the Carousel of Progress during those years, I couldn’t wait to go upstairs after the show to see Progress City one more time. I don’t know why I found it so fascinating. It seemed to evoke in me something that was akin to revelation. I could just see myself growing up in a world of technology and taking advantage of it to bless others.

The world is so full of promise to a ten year old child, especially one that was born in a day that computers were just beginning to come about. I have been blessed all my life to work in the world of technology and have watched it do so much to bring about that vision of what I saw and felt when I stood in fascination viewing Progress City. How exciting and how marvelous!

When I received my Patriarchal Blessing at age fifteen, that feeling returned. I felt once again that I was looking upon a whole new world about to be created – only this one was spiritual. It was a world of service in the Kingdom of God, of being a missionary, of marrying in the temple and in participating in the priesthood councils of the church. What an awesome feeling it was!

Warnings in the blessing

I treasure my patriarchal blessing. Since we grew up in the same stake, my wife and I both received our blessings from the same patriarch. I recognize similar phrases in our blessings, but of course they are completely different. My sister and I received our blessings on the same day and again, while they are similar, there are major differences between the promises therein.

I think the most important distinction between them is the counsel and admonition to fulfill my role as a priesthood bearer in the church. My blessing contained several warnings, almost dire in nature, that I needed to be very careful about the consequences of sin and that the adversary desired to thwart me in fulfilling my mission in life. I was warned that the devil is very real.

I have pondered the warnings in my blessing many, many times over the years. I have especially been impressed by the statement that I will live in the day of the restoration of all things, both the good and the evil. That phrase has sunk deep into my heart as I have witnessed so many terrible things that evil men have done and are doing in our day. Opposition to the Lord’s work is real.

Gifts of the spirit

When I was younger I used to marvel at the promised gifts of the spirit contained within my blessing. I remember fasting the day I went to see the Patriarch because the Bishop said it would help the Patriarch to be inspired as he pronounced the blessing upon me. I was impressed at the time and I have been impressed every time I have read the blessing that he was indeed inspired.

I know that promises in Patriarchal blessings are conditional, but I am sometimes amazed as I have witnessed the fulfillment of those promises as I serve in the Kingdom of God. Gifts that I thought were reserved only for those who served in the highest councils of the church have been manifest in my life through what I considered simple priesthood service – magnifying a calling.

The most dramatic fulfillment of the promises of my patriarchal blessing has been when I have fulfilled assignments to speak or teach in the church. There is no doubt that this is the work of the Lord when he inspires me with ideas to share and sometimes words and phrases that come to my mind as I speak or write. I know my own abilities and I know when God enhances them.

Faith is not magic

I started this essay with an introduction of magic for a good reason. I believe in magic. No, I’m not referring to the kind of hocus-pocus magic that is sleight of hand or smoke and mirrors. And I certainly don’t believe that there are those who really can cause things to happen by magic. That just doesn’t cut it for me. God uses natural means to bring about his purposes on earth.

I believe in the kind of magic that Walt Disney created. He was passionate about building an environment where good things could happen. Whatever you think of the corporate environment that is Disneyland and Disneyworld today, I maintain that the original dream of Walt Disney lives on when little children open their eyes in amazement at what can be found in his creations.

I believe that Walt Disney was inspired and that the passion for his dreams was God given. I have wondered if Walt had been a Mormon what his patriarchal blessing would have included. Perhaps in addition to his gifts being mentioned, there would have been warnings to exercise faith in his life’s mission and to not be dissuaded by men who could not see what he had in mind.

For private interpretation only

I feel the same way about my patriarchal blessing. It contains promises of gifts and a life’s work that I have only glimpsed in rare moments when the Lord grants me just enough of that vision to inspire me and to move me on in the right direction. Patriarchal blessings are sacred and private and should not be publicly discussed or compared, probably because it detracts from our faith.

When I was younger, I took my Patriarchal blessing back to the Patriarch with a desire to have him explain it to me. He was gracious and kind and took a long moment to read through it again before handing it back to me and saying, “I see nothing missing and nothing that needs to be explained.” With that he offered me a piece of fruit and escorted me to the door of his home.

I left frustrated but have since come to appreciate the wisdom of this patriarch’s response to my request for greater understanding. I got the same response when I asked my college advisor at Rick’s College for help in understanding my blessing. He looked at it as a favor to me but was clear that if I wanted to understand anything more I would need to get it from the Lord in prayer.

Summary and conclusion

I am certain there are times when each of us feels a desire to receive some personal guidance and direction in our lives that is not being met by advice or counsel from friends, parents or leaders. That guidance can come from our patriarchal blessing. Coupled with righteous living, scripture study, fasting and prayer, the Lord can and will reveal our life’s work to us if we ask faithfully.

And that’s the real key to understanding our blessings. The promises contained therein should be motivating and invite us to exercise faith to realize their fulfillment. I have seen it happen again and again as a natural result of accepting priesthood assignments and magnifying callings. The Lord sent each of us here with special gifts that can help build His kingdom when He needs us to.

Faith is not magic and promises in patriarchal blessings are not guaranteed. They will not come to pass just as natural consequence of living. We must seek their fulfillment and do all within our power to qualify for the gifts and blessings promised. A trust in the Lord’s timetable for us is especially needed as we grow older and wonder if certain promises will ever be fulfilled.

Faith and fear cannot coexist within us

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I see the world through a spiritual perspective developed at age 18 while preparing for a mission. In a previous essay, I shared my sacred experiences in gaining a testimony. I did not think they were all that unique at the time. I thought everyone else followed the same formula. Blogging over the last year has been a real eye-opener for me. Not every member has this same certainty.

Elder James Hamula, sustained in April 2008 General Conference as a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy said, “If there is anything that qualifies me for this calling it is the testimony that I gained at age 18 while I prepared for a mission. I had a most remarkable experience where I received a strong witness of the divinity of the Lord and of His Church.”

Like me, he read of how the young Joseph Smith wanted to know what was right, and felt that he too needed to go to the Lord in prayer. “So I knelt at my bedside and earnestly prayed to the heavens. And in response I got an answer that was as clear and as unmistakable as anything that I’ve experienced in life. I got up off my knees knowing that the Church was true.” I did as well.

Testimony as a process

On the other hand, I compare what I experienced and what Elder Hamula described, with this story that Elder Carlos Godoy shared in the Oct 2008 Sunday afternoon session of General Conference. He told of being asked by a Sunday school teacher to share some powerful spiritual experience that he had received while developing a testimony of the church. He was unable to think of one.

He felt a little uncomfortable being put on the spot. After all, he was an Area Seventy, and should have something impressive to share. He felt the disappointment of the Sunday school teacher that he had nothing to offer but later expressed his feelings in a testimony meeting. You can read his powerful testimony at the end of his talk. He includes all the major elements.

Elder Godoy said, “Sometimes we think that to have a testimony of the Church, we need some great, powerful experience, or a single event that would erase any doubts that we have received an answer…” I suspect this statement is a great comfort to many who have gained their certainty of the gospel and the church without any one great spiritual experience to which they can point.

Certainty is the basis of faith

Sometimes when I make assertive comments while blogging, some readers will write back that they find my certainty offensive. When I teach the gospel or when I share my understanding of some principles of the gospel, I am used to stating things in a positive, matter-of-fact manner. I enjoy this feeling of certainty about my testimony and always have. I thought every member did.

I once wrote, “Those who have once enjoyed the spirit of the Lord in their lives and then lose it through sexual impurity are unable to exercise faith because faith and fear cannot exist in a person at the same time. Lust invites the unclean spirits of the unseen world to use your body for a time. As these spirits are fearful by nature, those who lust soon become fearful themselves.”

When I made this particular comment, this individual responded that he had never heard such a thing. The whole idea of faith and fear being unable to co-exist in a person at the same time is certainly not something that I just dreamed up myself. This is typical of comments I have shared on my blog that are based on things I have read from general authorities and in the scriptures.

Fear is the opposite of faith

Boyd K. Packer taught clearly that fear is the opposite of faith. We find this in the scriptures many times. The Lord encourages us through the prophet Joseph, “Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.” He also helps us understand why we do not receive revelations. When there are fears in our hearts, we cannot receive a blessing such as a spiritual witness.

I have read many essays on the Bloggernacle defending the idea that doubts about the gospel are good and not anything of which we should be ashamed. I think this stems from the culture of the church where we are always expressing everything in as positive a manner as possible. Those who do experience doubt seem to feel that there is something wrong and that they don’t fit in.

I’ve thought much about how and why this culture of certainty can be offensive to some. I think it is because they perceive the expressions of testimony and certainty as being unfounded fluff with nothing substantial to back them up. They use the examples of little children bearing their testimonies and ask how they could possibly know for certain that God lives and loves them.

Become as a little child

One of my favorite scriptures has always been Mosiah 3:19 about the natural man. The angel who taught King Benjamin made it clear that we must make an effort to put off our natural tendencies to doubt, be skeptical and untrusting. We learn that we must become as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love and willing to submit to all things from God.

When I learn a new concept of the gospel that I am told is important by someone I trust, usually a priesthood leader or a General Authority, it is sometimes easy to put it aside because it is new to me and I do not yet understand the importance of the doctrine or principle. My patriarchal blessing reminds me that I must make an effort through study and prayer to make it a part of me.

One of the best ways to internalize a new doctrine is to teach it to someone else. It has been my experience that when I really want to confirm my faith in something new that I have learned, I take the opportunity to share it in a testimony meeting or make it part of a lesson I am asked to teach. When I bear testimony of the truthfulness of the concept, it is always burned into my soul.

Certainty is a gift of the spirit

It takes child-like faith to accept new doctrine, study it out, and then bear testimony to others. It takes patience to be submissive to the Lord’s tutoring method of studying and teaching in order to know for ourselves. Sometimes the Lord tries our faith and does not send the confirming witness of the spirit until after we have taught a doctrine that is new to us over a long period of time.

This feeling of certainty in spiritual things is a gift from God. It has served me well all my life. It is something for which I am extremely grateful. I work hard to keep this sense of certainty strong. Yet I am well aware that the receipt of the witness of the spirit confirming what I have studied and taught is a gift from God. For me, it only seems to come after I teach it publicly.

To some it is given by the Holy Ghost to know that Jesus is the Son of God, and that he was crucified for the sins of the world. To others it is given to believe on their words, that they might also have eternal life if they continue faithful. I find my testimony is a mixture of knowing and believing. Some things I know for myself. It is this knowledge that gives me that certainty.

Summary and conclusion

I am impressed by the number of attorneys that I find on the Bloggernacle who present such logical arguments when they write their essays. They are proficient in arguing a point and clearly proving it by the expert use of their long-practiced skill. I do not possess that talent and have no desire to develop it at this point in my life. My essays are based more on what I feel.

I have long felt that doubt has some basis in fear. Perhaps it is the fear of change for some. For others it may be the fear of having to make their actions conform to new knowledge presented and then accepted. The Lord tells us to be believing. That means to accept what we are taught by prophets and apostles in spite of doubts and fears. Study it out – teach it to others in faith.

The spiritual perspective I developed at age 18 gave me that certainty I have needed to serve a mission, to accept leadership callings, and especially to teach the gospel. I know that faith is a real power. At times it is illogical and yet it casts out fear. With headlines that seem to scream fear, the certainty of faith is a better way to view life as we prepare for the return of the Lord.

The authority I give to prophets

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Now that may seem like a strange title of an essay. What authority could I possibly give to a prophet? We believe and teach in our church that prophets get their authority from God. In fact, the whole concept of authority to speak in the name of the Lord is a big deal in the LDS Church. I mean, if our claim to authority is bogus, as some say it is, then the Mormon Church is a fraud.

I have written previously about our claim of authority to act in the name of God. We teach that Joseph Smith received multiple visits in his day from resurrected beings who ordained him and gave him priesthood authority. That’s an amazing claim in itself that has been contested since the day he made it but that’s not the type of authority I would like to address in this short essay.

We all have the type of authority I would like to discuss. It is not gender specific. Both men and women and even children possess this authority. We are born with it and we will take it with us into the next life. It is a great gift and one that I cherish dearly. I have used it for both good and bad throughout my life. So why would I agree to give it willingly to someone I have never met?

My authority is my agency

The more I learn about this church, the more and more impressed I have become with this gift of authority that is mine. If there is anything that I know more than anything else, it is that I can choose to believe whatever I want. Nobody can take that away from me. I don’t think anybody can form an argument that could convince me that I do not possess this ability. It is a part of me.

This authority to choose my own beliefs is something about which I feel very passionate. When I was younger I would do all kinds of stupid things in an effort to assert my authority and prove to others, mostly my parents, that this power was mine and mine alone. It is an amazing power. It can bring me great happiness or it can bring me great sorrow and it is all based on my beliefs.

In other words, I can choose to believe what I want to believe about what brings me happiness. I do not need some philosophical explanation to define happiness. I know when I feel happy and I think I am getting pretty good after all these years of identifying which beliefs and actions are the cause and effect of my happiness. My power of choice is the authority I have over myself.

Giving my authority to another

Whenever I choose to believe something that someone else tells me, I give away a part of my authority or control over myself. That’s especially true if I can’t prove what they have told me. That may seem like a crazy thing to do. I guess it all has to do with the reliability of the source. We all do it. There are things we believe that we haven’t been able to prove and never will.

For example, in relation to my membership in the LDS Church, I believe things about our history for which I will never be able to obtain or provide empirical evidence. I was not there when Joseph received the visit from the Father and the Son, nor was I there when he received the visit from the angel Moroni. There were no witnesses to these events. Yet, I choose to believe them.

I have given away a part of me – my intrinsic authority or agency – when I accept what I have been taught about these historical events while growing up. I believed what I was told because I trusted the source – my parents, my Primary teacher, my Sunday school teacher, my priesthood advisor, my Seminary and Institute teachers and just about anyone who taught me the gospel.

The transfer of that authority

When I became an adult, I had to decide if I still intended to give my authority to others who represented the source of that knowledge. In particular, I had to decide if I would transfer that authority from teachers and parents, many of whom were now dead, to leaders of this church. I felt comfortable about that transfer of authority and have now placed it in apostles and prophets.

Most of the men who were the leaders of this church when I became an adult are now dead. So of course, that authority simply slid down the line with each new prophet until today, I place my trust in President Thomas S. Monson and in the other fourteen men who lead this church. I am no different from millions of others who have had to go through this same logical process.

Last night I sat in my stake center with hundreds of my fellow brethren of the church and watched the broadcast of the priesthood session of General Conference. I listened very closely as each of these priesthood leaders spoke and weighed very carefully in my mind if what I was hearing was inspired of God and worthy of acceptance. As always, I was not disappointed. I was impressed.

The current repository of my trust

Of course, all men are fallible and so are prophets. Individually, some of the early apostles left the church and some even fought against it, denying many things that they had previously taught as facts, or truth, to be falsehoods and lies. Hmmm…that presents a bit of a dilemma. Now who do I believe – those who remained or those who left and claimed the original leaders were liars?

Fortunately, that hasn’t happened in my day so I haven’t had to make this choice among living apostles and prophets. But what if it did – what would I do then? One of the teachings of our church is that the authority for doctrine is comprised in two quorums – the quorum of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. I don’t have to rely on just one leader.

In my lifetime, I have witnessed a prophet of the church fail in mental health until he was simply incapacitated and could not act as the living mouthpiece or oracle of the Lord. That’s OK. I have written about this previously and explained there why I had no problem with this. I am convinced that this church can survive even when the prophet has Alzheimer’s. That’s amazing!

The ultimate placement of my faith

A prophet wouldn’t be a prophet to me unless he leads me to Christ. I look to these men to teach me about the Savior and how I can draw closer to Him. We have a saying in our church that we repeat often – follow the Brethren. We teach our children to sing the song – follow the Prophet. We do this because we have a tradition of confidence that these men will lead us unto Christ.

So ultimately, I give my authority and my agency to the Savior Jesus Christ as these men teach me to do. I like that. Of course, I haven’t seen the Savior or been personally visited or taught by Him. Although I believe it is possible if it were necessary, I don’t believe that I need to have to receive such a visit to exercise faith in Him. In fact, it wouldn’t be faith if I had such a visit.

That’s why I am so grateful for the gift of the Holy Ghost. I think I would be lost without this special gift that teaches me truth and leads me to God. Now this is something with which I have personal experience and personal knowledge. It is not empirical and never will be. That’s OK. It is very real to me and makes perfect sense. I know things in my heart that I can never prove.

Summary and conclusion

We all have a kind of personal power and authority that can only be used by giving it away to someone else. We call it agency. In particular, we have the right, power and ability to choose to believe what we want. It is very important that we find trustworthy sources to whom we can look to teach us about God and Christ. God must be revealed to someone or remain unknown.

Since I haven’t seen God, I must rely on those who claim to have seen Him to teach me about Him. Of course, it is critical to my salvation to be certain that my sources are authorized to speak on behalf of God. We call these men prophets and I have been listening to them all weekend. God knows that this is a leap of faith to trust a prophet so he has given us a way to be certain.

There is one wonderful piece of empirical evidence that God gave the prophet who brought forth the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. That evidence is the Book of Mormon. To me, the whole process and procedure of knowing for myself is so logical. I am confident that I have given my authority to a trustworthy source and am grateful for the power this knowledge brings.