It’s kind of like Rachel Esplin (and Closet Doubter) said…the church leaders are definitely not perfect…including the leaders at the very highest level. I agree with Closet Doubter, members definitely need to consider directives from church leaders as suggestions only. In fact, church leaders need to do less interpretation of God’s will and more encouragement to find out God’s will for oneself.

I think members, in general, should think of the church leaders as leaders of the CHURCH, not of individual members. Each individual member is his own leader in his quest for spirituality. The goal of each member should be spirituality, not religiosity (they are not synonymous); and a person can achieve spirituality with or with the church and its leaders. In fact, I believe people are more likely to achieve higher levels of spirituality when they consider themselves to be people who are seeking spirituality who happen to go to a particular church, rather than members of a church who happen to be seeking some spirituality. In other words, be IN the church, but not OF the church.

Don’t get me wrong…I think the church is a great organization. It’s better than most, if not all, other religious organizations. It’s a great place to discuss ideas with other people, make connections with people with common interests, refocus your attention on seeking spirituality, and find opportunities to serve other people. I just think more people would benefit by thinking of the church as a tool used to achieve something, rather than thinking of religiosity, within the church, as the ultimate goal. In other words it’s one (of many) means to an end, rather than being an end, in and of itself. Instead of identifying oneself as a “Mormon,” members should identify themselves as disciples of God, who happen to go to the Mormon church.

I also don’t believe you will be blessed for following misguided directives. In fact, I think you will miss out on some blessings by blindly following church leaders’ directives, or waiting for church leaders to issue directives, rather than finding out God’s will for yourself and only following that which you have verified to be God’s will.

Tim, how’s that for an ear-full of dissenter’s perspective?

Closet Doubter, you sound like me, before I became inactive 9 years ago. You also sound like my brother, who has remained active, but has shifted his perspective to value spirituality over religiosity. He just considers the Mormon religion as a nice tool to help him achieve spirituality, rather than his ultimate goal or identity. He takes leaders’ directives as suggestions, rather than commandments. He seems pretty happy with his relationship with the church. I don’t think you would catch my brother saying, “I know this church is true” (what does that mean anyway?). He would say something more like, “I know this church is great place for me and my family to learn about God, make friends, and serve other people.”

You also would probably not hear him say something like, “This church is either true, or it’s the greatest hoax perpetrated on humanity.” The religions of Islam, Catholicism, Judaism, Budhism, Taoism, & Hinduism could also either be true or be the greatest hoax ever. Why can’t your relationship with God be true, and everything else is just a tool to improve your relationship with God?

Well, if you look at my stats, you’ll see that I don’t have a lot of readers. I’m more into in-depth discussion with a few selected individuals who share similar interests. One of my interests has always been observing and reflecting on how the world sees the Latter-day Saints. That has recently translated into the long ongoing saga of how the intellectual community within the church has struggled.

I don’t put myself on the same level as those whose lives I have studied such as Lowell Bennion, Leonard Arrington, Gene England, T. Edgar Lyon, Michael Quinn, Lavina Anderson, Richard Bushman and many other extremely smart LDS people. For some, the intellectual approach seems to have turned into dissent. It doesn’t have to be that way. I believe we can be well informed and still faithful.

I’ve been pondering your suggestion to address the all or nothing, black or white, true or false paradigm that seems to be so difficult to understand and accept. If things are quiet with work-related issues tomorrow, I hope to put those thoughts into words and post a new essay on the subject. I’m blessed to be able to work from home and set my own hours during most of the week. I appreciate that.

Perhaps we can continue our dialog in the comments of that post when it comes out. Or if you prefer, you could email me some of the things you would like to share and discuss. I believe in honesty and openness and can’t imagine that there would be any negative consequences of an honest dialog. I only delete comments of stupid people who don’t know how to express themselves without swearing or resorting to personal attacks. I know you. You’re not like that.

Closet Doubter

He had a large family and no, they were not all faithful believers setting the perfect example for the rest of the stake. But he did not let that stop him from holding up the ideal as something we should strive for. Children exercise their agency no matter what their parentage. When he set me apart he was aware that my own son is a non-believer and promised things that I still believe will happen.

It is good to get to know priesthood leaders as regular people trying to live the gospel in their homes and families. Although I serve in the singles ward, I love the bishop of our family ward who invites ward members over to his home on a regular basis for social events around holidays and birthdays. Bishops are just like you and me, striving to exercise faith and to be humble and obedient.

He is also a fellow blogger and has written hundreds of essays about doctrines, practices and just living in the modern world. He is a quiet, humble man who continuously seeks to learn and grow. I also served as his counselor for a while and came to appreciate how he relied on others around him to help run the ward. But there are some things that only the Bishop can do because of the calling.

So although I can say that I have had twenty-five years of leadership training, I have never held the keys or the office of a bishop and so I can’t say exactly how that mantle is supposed to work. I’ve seen the spirit work on each of these bishops and have heard them express themselves beyond their natural ability. It must be tough to be a bishop and to feel the responsibility of leading a ward.

Your bishop was probably relying on a directive from the First Presidency back in 1982 that addresses worthiness interviews. In it we find this verbiage: “The First Presidency has interpreted oral sex as constituting an unnatural, impure or unholy practice.” I think you recognize the significance of that phrase. This wording is not found in the current church handbook.

Instead, we find a much more positive approach to marital sex with this wording: “Married couples should understand that sexual relations within marriage are divinely approved not only for the purpose of procreation, but also as a means of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual bonds between husband and wife.”

That’s too bad about the way you described the calling being rescinded from your wife. I assume she had already accepted. Carol was once called by a bishop to a leadership position in the ward with these words, “You weren’t my first choice or even my second or third choice but I guess the Lord wanted you in this position.”

That hurt and is not the recommended way to issue a call. Although she did a great job, she still smarts about that because she has brought it up several times when we have discussed callings and how they are issued. We are a church led by imperfect men, from the bottom to the top. Bishops do make mistakes.

I like that you’re focusing on memories of being guided by the spirit of inspiration in your calling and of contributing something positive to your ward or stake through that calling. I feel the same way with my callings. I do my best to help serve the bishop as the ward clerk. Sometimes it can feel very rewarding.

The problem with church leadership is “you get what you pay for”, and we don’t pay anything! While I would not advocate a paid clergy at the local level (we already have a paid clearage at the GA level), there could be a more uniform training method for bishops. Right now this is nothing other than a monthly PPI with the SP. Your training is being a counselor for 3-4 years.

So, with the current method of selecting bishops, you’re going to get Bishops who’s personal views on Oral Sex, the WofW, and a host of other things influence their thinking. And I don’t believe that one will be blessed for following their leaders even when the leaders are wrong. God gave us a brain to think for our selves, and when a leader goes off the deep end (which I have seen) the members need to let him know. I’ve seen Stake Presidents over rule bishops on WofW issues (asking about drinking Coke in TR interviews) and I’ve seen a bishop released after only 3 years because members of his ward were voting with their feet, and the ward was coming apart. But these types of Bishops are few and far between. Most are genuine caring men who want the best for their ward.

Closet Doubter

That being said, I enjoyed reading this blog post because it reminded me of times when I’ve been involved in Ward Councils or leadership positions, wherein I felt like I was able to receive inspiration. I realized that I miss the feelings I get when I believe I am receiving communication from God. It feels good to have those experiences, and those experiences seem to happen more often when I am in a position to serve other people. You gave me a reason to want to be an active member again.

Perhaps the same thing works in inspiration for callings. If it brings the Bishop or a counselor into the home and something is discovered that would not have been known in any other way, then the inspiration could have been the Lord’s way of helping his shepherds tend the flock. Thanks for pointing that out.