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Let’s take a look, for example, at the main thrust of the Church’s addiction program: a 12-step program. I wonder: what’s the success rate, what does the participant need to do, and where is the power? If it’s like other 12-step programs, the success rate is very low (10%?), many meetings must be attended for the rest of life in addition to other things, and the power lies outside of the individual. To me, that’s a far cry from “successful”.

With advanced EFT, here’s what happened with a woman when we met for 1 hr. 20 min., after a short explanation of what we were going to do:

“hate dad: 9 3 1 0 (and she had said she wanted to start out small!)
confused about hating dad: 5 8 9 (confusion went up–expected; as she got rid of blame, her confusion around the truthfulness of the reasons why she blamed him went up)
accepting the confusion: 5 1 0 (confusion went up (see above), but acceptance of that confusion increased till the confusion didn’t trouble her)
hate mom, mom not fair: 5 2 0
confused about hating mom: 0
dad and mom’s bad relationship example: 10 5 2 9 1 0 (all ok going down, then she thought of something right before the “9″; once that cleared, it went back down)
dislike of current relationship: 10 5 0
dislike spouse: 5 0
relationship satisfaction: 1 9 (I decided to leave it here)
want a better relationship?: 0 5 9 5 10 (she expressed *no* hope or desire for a better relationship at the start! how many traditional counselors/ psychiatrists can start from there and get to a 10 in a few minutes!)
recent relationship problems:
A (argument that morning): 10 0
B (argument the night before): 10 10 10 0 (interesting–I usually try just three times without success before changing)
C: 5 0

After a month, those numbers have held.

I apologize, my statement was meant as a general statement, not a blanket statement. No, not every counselor is bad, not every method is completely fruitless. Even “pretty fruitless” is too strong; I apologize.

From what I’ve seen, most counselors and methods don’t get anywhere near the results they could be gotten.

Let’s take a look, for example, at the main thrust of the Church’s addiction program: a 12-step program. I wonder, what’s the success rate, what does the participant need to do, and where is the power? If it’s like other 12-step programs, success rate is low ( 0
hate mom (not being fair, etc.): 5 -> 0
dad and mom’s bad relationship example, blaming them for it causing her current bad relationship: 10 -> 0
dislike of current relationship: 10 -> 0
dislike spouse: 5 -> 0
relationship dissatisfaction: 9 -> 1 (I decided to leave it here)
want a better relationship?: 0 -> 10 (she expressed *no* hope or desire for a better relationship at the start!)
recent relationship problems:
A (“upset” over argument that morning): 10 -> 0
B (“upset” argument the night before): 10 -> 0
C (“upset” over past problem in relationship): 5 -> 0

If that doesn’t seem like much when compared with the results you (and the other counselors) are getting from Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy and other methods, then that’s what it is–not that much better, and I happily take back all my negative words. I can live with that. I don’t have anything against methods that work–I just like that they work. The ones I know of, the ones that I have seen both in family (like the ones I mentioned) and out (previous counseling and counseling I do where I don’t/ can’t use EFT, other couples’ experiences, bishopric work, etc.), the ones that the Church works with, etc.–don’t give me that picture. Nor can the statistics back it up much (though most therapies can claim good stats–otherwise, how could they exist, market, and continue?).

I just don’t agree that there are usually “many” typical methods that are of the same or even similar caliber, especially that the “Church” typically “uses”.

As Grant McFetridge of http://www.peakstates.com says: “We are also pioneering a fairly radical new treatment model – our certified therapists only charge for results, so there is no charge if the treatment isn’t successful.” (And also a rant about traditional psychology being left in the dust by new research and new methods…)
How many counselors in Family Services would be willing to go there–if patients needed to move at least three points on a 10-point scale before paying?

I have found three methods that I believe do work (but I don’t know if it’s actually a resolution of the problem, or just a “rendering it powerless” type of thing–and still figuring out what the differences would be): Idenics, and two in the book “PEAT”.

If you can point me to others to consider, I would appreciate that. (Like I said, I don’t really care the label or order, just the results at what prices.) Because I also know that many people aren’t open to energy work/ know many who aren’t open to it, and it would be nice to find something “better” than most methods to help them, too. (Idenics training costs a fortune, though the PEAT methods are wonderful.)

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P.S. When we got home, my wife was fine at night, but after a little looking, I figured my wife’s chest pains were gallstones–right place, right symptoms, tapping wasn’t working. The next day she had the constant heavy pain again when she got up, so we did a gallstone flush; two hours later, she was fine (not just pain-free, but the gallstones were out).

grego

grego – Obviously I can’t speak for others, or for your experience, but I disagree with your blanket statement that Family Services and etc. all use “pretty fruitless methods.” I actually use the “other” EFT (Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy), and it has some solid research around it – 90% improve and 70% experience a full recovery from distress in their marriage.

I will agree, there are plenty of mediocre counselors (as well as treatments), but there are also many that work, that are not time-consuming, and that are heavily researched. Don’t lump them all together in your attempt to promote what you, in your own anecdotal way, believe in.

I’ve shared all kinds of things about EFT, NLP, QT (Quantum Touch), etc. I’ve recently stumbled on to Reference Point Therapy and In the Moment, after failures with Matrix Energetics (I’ll try again) and ThetaHealing (though there was lots of good summary material in the book).

I use EFT all the time with self, family, and children (I teach)–stomachaches, headaches, sprained ankles, falling down and getting hurt, hitting heads on walls, vomiting, crying, malaise, fears, etc.

I’ve even used it at church, to help members. (They’re a little more allowing and accepting here.)

No one experiencing it can deny it. Knee pain for 30 years? Gone in 10 minutes. You don’t even have to have faith in it for it to work.

With a few tweaks, I do it surrogately, rapidly, and completely in my mind. (I’m not sure which freaks people out more–when I tap on them, or on me for them, or in my mind.) Of course tonight–after writing that–not much seems to be working on my wife’s chest pain, other than some head acupuncture and water. Priesthood blessing time–the one healing method I’m most blessed with.

I admit I don’t have much patience with the Church on this point–talk after talk after article after article about pornography, Word of Wisdom, addiction, money problems, gambling, marriage relationships, etc.–then LDS Social Services/ BYU/ church counseling/ Ensign/ etc. refuse to try energy work, relying instead on expensive, time-consuming, and especially pretty fruitless methods. (My family has experienced LDS counseling three times: it might have helped once and it made things worse twice. Not to mention a psychiatrist/ psychologist bishop and a family counselor were two big (adultery) excommunications in our stake!)

I’ve written about three spirits, “spirit release”, EFT, and the LDS Social Services experience on my blog, for more info, which talks about the above much more and in much greater detail.

Muscle testing! I rarely get it to work, though it seems to be getting better. I think it has to do with my bad energy…

I agree with both you and Steven B, and take it one step further: we are all born in certain ways, and we are all conditioned in certain ways. That’s that. Now, what we do with it, from as much as we can according to our abilities, can and should be something else (though sometimes it’s not, because even this–how we deal with things, our emotional responses, etc.–are also part of inheritance, be it given or learned).

SSA can be something one is born with or conditioned, or both; just like most every other trial there is in life.

I believe that the viewpoint of the brethren regarding SSA as a condition is changing from unbelief to belief–something about a difference between Elder Oaks’ interview and Pres. Faust’s very similar/ identical position, to Elder Oaks’ general conference talk on healing. Also, there is personal correspondence that suggests there is much more openness and understanding now than there was previously.

Still, as with all other challenges of the flesh, the position is clear: don’t. I strongly believe that there is no need for a person who truly tried all to fear punishment from God (be it with SSA or anything else).

(I believe that SSA is an illness, and that maybe in a way or two, the removal of SSA from the DSM-IV was a curse to some church members with SSA. Maybe.)

On the other hand, research such as shown in “The Genie in Your Genes” and “The Biology of Belief” show that the excuse “born that way” is nowhere near as valid as one used to assume it to be.

Add in energy work, and I surmise that someone with a true desire and dedication could possibly overcome “learned/ conditioned SSA” in one day to one week, and “born SSA” in a month or two. (Then maybe time for the needed changes in habits, environment, etc. to support the change.)

The openness and acceptance of casual sex was not as prevalent when Carol and I were younger as it it is today. The internet did not exist when I was growing up and thus the temptations of pornography were not just a mouse click away as they are now. That is a big problem with a lot of men today, even in the church.

Since you say you read some of my blog I read most of yours. Thank you so much for your courage in sharing your journey back into the church. What an amazing thing to find someone who lives in France and blogs in English. I enjoyed reading the entries in your blog and wish I knew more about you. I can tell that you are intelligent and have a passion for sharing.

You mentioned your mission and that you were endowed and a bit about your own family struggles as you were growing up. You also wrote about your work with forgiveness. We have a lot in common. That has been the thing that has done more for me in my efforts to overcome emotional and psychological difficulties in my life – forgiving others and myself.

It must be terribly frustrating that your records were lost. Although the individual’s name is removed from the membership records of the church, a copy of the records can be obtained from the Office of the First Presidency when needed. I had to laugh when I read some of the things you said about your Stake President. You are right that some priesthood leaders can be very insensitive.

I appreciate you comments about my mother. Thank you for reading my essay about her life in the church. Yes, my mother was the woman of greatest influence in my life and gave me so much of the drive and ambition I have today. She was also the greatest source of my frustration as she dealt with her own demons and struggles with mental illness.

Perhaps that is the curse of high intelligence – a corresponding amount of confusing and unhealthy self-destructive behavior. She was stubborn and strong-willed. She knew what she wanted and she went for it. She usually got what she wanted too. That’s why she struggled so much with the idea of priesthood. Her impatience with men of lesser intelligence was obvious to all around her.

I congratulate you for your decision to come back to church. I sympathize with your struggles and pray the Lord’s blessings upon you, especially that you can find the sweet peace that comes from forgiving others. Sometimes it is difficult to understand why some things bother us. The mechanics of forgiving is helped when the old memories that afflict and torment us can be be brought to the light. That’s what I write about on my Holistic Healing blog.

I look forward to reading more from you. Keep visiting and leave me comments. That reminds me to go and read what you have written. If you will accept it in the spirit it is offered, I extend to you my love and the love of the Savior, but from what you have been writing, I think you already have been feeling his love in your life again. Cheers.

Just kiding, I had to tease you but I in fact really appreciate your blog. I think I am going to bookmark this and I think that your mom is really proud of you. I have read pieces of your blog today and I can see how/what you took from her.

Ah, this is what I love about blogging. You were so kind to come back, read my comments and respond. You have done me a real service. I don’t think I would have found the LDS Resources or the blog on my own. It is good to read professional and intelligent commentary on the issue. You are a scholar and a gentleman for sharing the resource – most helpful. I am getting an education.