According to LDS Doctrine, I Have Lost Everything

Back on July 30th, I shared that I had an opportunity to meet with a former temple president and his wife. Carol and I are blessed to have them as our ministering brother and sister (current LDS terminology for home teachers). I have great respect and love for these kind people who visit us in our home and are concerned about our spiritual welfare. I say God bless them for that concern.

They had asked how they could help us. I therefore asked them to share with me their thoughts on The Holy Spirit of Promise. We met this last Sunday and started our visit reviewing the letter above. After they finished reading it quietly, I said, “I do not feel I have lost any of the blessings listed in the first paragraph. I made covenants with the Lord, and with Carol, which I am trying to honor.”

I sensed immediate disagreement, but with love and kindness, they let me continue. I pointed out the invitation in the letter to return and come again to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I also emphasized the letter indicated, that in my case, because of the charge of apostasy, I would need approval from the First Presidency to even be baptized again. They listened very patiently.

Some of the Revelations Have Been Altered

I felt prompted to relate a number of spiritual or revelatory experiences from my youth, especially the answer to prayer I received when, after a three-day fast, I asked the Lord about what I had been studying in the Doctrine and Covenants. I showed them the book I had read that prompted that prayer and what I believe to be the response of the Lord in confirming the mission of Joseph Smith.

I told them the reason I had read the book so diligently and fasted and prayed so long was because I was about to go out and testify to the world that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God and that I wanted to know for myself that the revelations he had received and recorded were from God. I related I already had a testimony of the Book of Mormon but I wanted this additional witness.

They did not express doubt when I shared the words I heard and recorded. I had specifically asked, “Are the revelations contained in this book all correct and accurately recorded?” The answer was, “The majority of them are correct, but some of them have been altered.” I then heard another voice, “You will never be able to understand clearly until you and I meet on this side of the veil.”

Hearing the Voice of the Prophet

Perhaps not hearing it clearly, I was asked to repeat what I had just said. I did so and added that “in my mind and heart, I knew the second voice to be that of Joseph Smith.” To their credit, there was no expression of disbelief or incredulity. Nodding his head in agreement, my friend said, “I have no doubt your prayer was answered.” He wisely invited me to continue my narrative. I did so.

I shared additional revelatory experiences of my youth and early adult life in which I felt inspired to propose marriage to my wife, our subsequent marriage in the temple, and many years of faithful service in Bishoprics, on the High Council and in doing whatever I was asked to do in the church including attending the temple, which I did from the time I was endowed at 19 until ten years ago.

At this point I felt impressed to move away from my initial request of wanting to discuss the doctrine of the Holy Spirit of Promise. I summarized by saying, “When I taught this principle in the High Priest Group and was met by statements from my brethren that as long as they were married or sealed in the temple they had all they needed, I then realized they did not understand the promise is conditional.”

The Sealing Power Not Passed From Man to Man

I then felt to testify that I knew Joseph had the sealing power. I said I had no doubt about that and never have. “But I do not believe the sealing power was passed from Joseph to Brigham.” I noted an immediate change in his countenance, a look of concern and disagreement. Although I sensed he wanted to say something, he let me finish my thoughts. I tried to quote the following points:

“…What a thing it is for a man to be accused of committing adultery, and having seven wives, when I can only find one. I am the same man, and as innocent as I was fourteen years ago; and I can prove them all perjurers.”

(History of the Church, vol 6, p. 411) Joseph Smith made this statement preaching from the stand to the Latter-day Saints in Nauvoo on Sunday May 26, 1844.

“A week or so before Joseph and Hyrum’s deaths, Joseph confided in William Marks, Nauvoo Stake President, that he had been deceived by many leading men of the Church. Joseph had recently discovered that these men were secretly practicing the ‘spiritual wife’ system (plurality of wives). Joseph stated that it would prove to be the Church’s destruction and overthrow.

“To stop this from happening, Joseph was going to prefer charges against those practicing it and bring them up for trial before the Nauvoo High Council. He asked Marks to ‘try them by the laws of the Church, and cut them off, if they would not repent and cease the practice.’ Joseph said he would “go into the stand and preach against it, with all my might, and in this way we may rid the Church of this damnable heresy.”

[See RLDS History of the Church 2:733 and William Marks, “Epistle,” Zions Harbinger and Baneemy’s Organ 3 (July 1853), pp. 52-54. Published in St. Louis by C. B. Thompson.]

This is also footnote 1183 from Whitney’s book on Hyrum Smith found on page 295

Nauvoo Apostles Embraced Polygamy

By this time my friend, his wife and my wife, Carol, were each expressing that they had never heard such a thing and wanted to know my sources. I should have expected such a response, but was not prepared. I stood up and retrieved my copy of Hyrum Smith – A Prophet Unsung, and turned to page 296, but instead of reading it I was amazed I was able to almost quote it from memory, after adding a little background.

“The term ‘spiritual wife’ was used by many of the Latter Day Saints in Hyrum’s day who were engaging in plural marriage. The term ‘spiritual wife’ referred to a woman who was ‘married’ to the man ‘in spirit’ since she could not be legally married to him “in name.” Brigham Young believed and taught that a man who was sealed to a deceased wife could also be sealed to a living wife and would have them both as his wives in heaven. The sealed deceased wife was called a ‘spiritual wife’ by these men because she was a spirit.

“At that time, as well as today, the term was attributed to John C. Bennett, although he was not the sole individual who used that term to describe sexual excesses. When Hyrum delivered this speech condemning plural marriage eight members of the Quorum of the Twelve had secretly embraced polygamy: Brigham Young had four wives; Heber C. Kimball had two; John Taylor had three; Parley P. Pratt had two; Willard Richards had three; Orson Hyde had two; and George A. Smith had two. These men often sent their plural wives to live in St. Louis or back east in order to keep them secret.”

Source: Hyrum Smith – A Prophet Unsung (2022), Footnote 1186, page 295 –  see also The Joseph Smith Papers (2015), Journals, Volume 3, May 1843-June 1844, p. 224

Advice From A Former Temple President

At this point, the tension in the room was palpable. I had said what I wanted to say. I let Carol and my friends, the former President and Matriarch of the Temple, discuss among themselves what had brought Tim to this point in his life and what it had been like living with Tim for the past ten years. To her credit, Carol has very complimentary of me, expressing her love and appreciation.

Interestingly, she shared something I had not remembered or had not heard before. She said after I resigned from the church in 2014, the same bishop we had been meeting with for months before my resignation, invited her to meet with him separately and said the church would help her get a divorce if she wanted. I had suspected as much at the time, and was amazed she stuck with me.

At the end of their discussion my friend turned to me and said, “it seems to me that you need to get a testimony of Brigham Young like the one you received about Joseph Smith.” I agreed and told him I would make it a matter of study and prayer. I knew the moment I said it I already knew what my feelings were about Brigham but I wanted to formalize them with documents from his own words.

Asking the Lord About Brigham Young

I thanked our friends for their visit, their love and concern. My friend expressed his amazement that I was so complimentary about the church, that I still attended regularly and participated in all the social and fellowshipping activities associated with regular membership in the LDS Church. I told him I loved the church, or more specifically the people in our ward and stake. I closed our meeting with prayer.

I have thought much over the past two days about our visit. I asked my friend if he would give me a blessing to encourage me in my journey. He agreed, saying he would like to fast and pray before he did so. I also decided to continue my fast that day into the next and broke it with prayer yesterday in which I told the Lord I would like to study Brigham’s life in greater detail looking for evidence that he had the sealing power.

My friend will be back later today to offer the blessing I requested. I am fasting again. You may wonder why I would request a blessing to help me in my studies of the words of Brigham Young. All I can say is I felt impressed by the Lord to make the request and believe I will receive according to my faith and that of my friend. Then I will go to work and prepare myself to come into the presence of the Lord to ask about Brigham.