Waiting Patiently Upon the Lord

I received an email from a reader (thank you Cecil) and decided to share some of the response here on my blog. I don’t pretend to be anybody important, just someone who wrote an LDS-themed blog for a few years and ended up resigning my membership in the LDS Church. I did so because I wanted to get baptized anew with a clear conscience. I’m not advocating my life choice for you or anyone else. I’m just sharing. You’re welcome to respond in any way you like – ignore this, remove yourself from my email list, leave a comment, positive or negative, or share it with others if you think it would do any good. I express my love for all.

By the Sweat of Thy Face

I’ve been putting in twelve and sixteen hour days at work, half of it on-site and half from the home office. I thought this new job would be easy – only twelve miles from home and one of the smallest companies for which I’ve ever worked. Finally convinced them to bring a desktop support associate on board so I could concentrate on the infrastructure upgrades they so desperately need. They’ve been putting band-aids and patches on everything for the past twelve years. That’s why the former IT Manager left. Finally convinced the owner on Friday to sign the first check for a $100,000+ upgrade to get rid of dying servers and onto a virtual environment. It’s been a long uphill battle for seven months, but I truly enjoy my work. Work is enjoyable when you focus on the people you serve. I learn much from them.

The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways

I’ve gone through three Bishops since my baptism nearly four years ago, each experience decidedly different. The first was long-suffering and patient, but simply could not understand my logic or reasoning. The next Bishop pretty much refused to have anything to do with me – never wanted to meet or talk. The current Bishop kindly met with me at the request of the Stake President. He listened patiently but in the end could not or would not consider the possibility of the Lord working through someone other than the fifteen men at the head of the LDS Church. I have no desire to persuade him otherwise. He’s a good man who loves the Lord. Surely the Lord will bless the good bishops of this Church. I believe the Lord still works through good people everywhere, no matter what their religious affiliation. If they love God, He blesses them.

Fellowship is Important for Ministering

This really is a self-selection path we are on, isn’t it? I continue to attend church with my wife. After three years of only attending Sacrament meeting I decided to stay for the entire block. It’s a small thing that makes Carol happy. We continue to sing in the ward and stake choirs, something we have done all our married lives. I take the sacrament, I raise my hand to sustain individuals in callings and speak up in priesthood meetings now, with the permission of the Stake President and Bishop. There are still those who turn to look at me as I share some point, as if to say, “Why are you allowed to speak up in Church? You resigned.” They don’t quite know how to take it. I try to say nothing controversial – just standard LDS answers. I like the focus on ministering. Strange to witness the dissolving of High Priest Groups. I was pleased to see my home teacher for the past year or two was released from the High Council and made the new Elder’s Quorum President.

A Strange Thing in the Land

I don’t write in my blog anymore on purpose. I miss the many people with whom I corresponded on a regular basis. I wonder how some of them are doing. I even stopped participating on Facebook (Yikes – over 100 messages). I enjoyed the recent conference in which Denver delivered the most amazing theological discourse on the nature of God I have ever heard or read. I have listened to it and studied it several times. It is an amazing and powerful revelation on our Divine Parents and especially a greater understanding of who they are and their role in bringing about the Great Plan of Happiness. Everything I learned concurs with my study of the subject years ago. Sons of Christ and Daughters of Eve has such a deeper meaning for me now. I encourage you to take the time to watch the video or read the paper. To me, it was satisfying and feeds my soul.

Not Good for Man to be Alone

Carol and I continue to read from the Book of Mormon together each night for about twenty minutes before we pray together, one at a time. This practice has kept our marriage intact as we pass through this difficult time of adjustment. I know Carol is disappointed, sad, and at times, lonely, feeling she has nobody but her own family with whom to share the next life. Our son left the LDS church at age 16. He is now 35 years old. She feels she has lost both her husband and her son. I do all I can to assure her of my love. Our son Michael seems well-adjusted and happy. He expresses his love for us each time he visits. Not sure what more I can do for Carol other than be patient and wait on the Lord. This is indeed a tough road to follow but “A religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has power sufficient to produce the faith necessary [to lead] unto life and salvation.”

A Comment About The Guide And Standard

I want to say a word about the Guide and Standard. I have watched this process for well over a year, even before the Answer and Covenant. The Lord said “it is a light thing I have asked.” I recently added my name to a document found on the Recorder’s Clearinghouse. I thought long and hard before asking to have my name added to the declaration. It is a petition to the Scriptures Committee, of which I was a small part for a short time. I was happy with the first document produced by Jeff Savage. I was just as happy with the “Lots” document. I voted for it. Obviously a majority of others did as well. Yet, we are not yet united, are we? I have had long discussions with those who oppose the “Lots” version of the Guide and Standard. They will not be persuaded. “…if your hearts were right and you prepared yourselves you could have finished this work long ago.” Is it so hard to agree with something that, while it may not be perfect, fulfills the Lord’s requirements?

There Shall be no Disputations Among You

I express my thanks to all who have kept in touch over the years. I much appreciate it and pray the Lord’s blessings upon you. I remain convinced the Lord is giving us time to prove ourselves faithful to what he has revealed to us. He is watching closely to see how we will treat those around us who He has placed in our lives. I see His hand every day in so many ways through my work with the people I associate with every day on the job. I know the Lord is pleased with my continued efforts to lead out in our nightly scripture study and family prayer. There are indeed seasons to our lives. I feel strong and healthy and continue to pray for strength each day to endure through my time in this situation of knowing what I know yet unable to share it all. I seek to avoid contention as it invites an unwanted spirit to the dialog.

God bless,

Tim Malone
Camarillo CA

PS – If you haven’t heard me tell my story, perhaps this YouTube link from a few months back will be of interest: The Tim Malone Story


7 thoughts on “Waiting Patiently Upon the Lord”

  1. I’m Mormon, and I think if your bishop and stake president think it’s okay for you to comment, then you’re fine. ? We have a sweet, never baptized gal in our ward and she comments all of the time. I do see a difference between the two of you, as you’ve… “passed through” Mormonism, lol, but if you’re guarding yourself, and you say you are, then don’t worry about anything else.

    A word to your Carol. The Lord knows your thoughts and intents. I hope she can find comfort in your sincerity. You are not fighting against the Holy Ghost, at least not to your very genuine understanding. You are striving to live the highest law possible… you’re honoring your covenants in the highest way possible…. you’re honoring your marriage covenant as best as you can. I can disagree with you can still see that. ? I appreciate your blog.
    how can God refuse you anything?

  2. I, for one, have really missed your blog. It always seemed to me to have the Spirit and was easily understood by me. Glad to see a few words from you once in awhile. This one did not disappoint!

  3. Hello Mr. Malone.

    Part of what you said about the GS assignment was this.

    “I have had long discussions with those who oppose the “Lots” version of the Guide and Standard.”

    I find that interesting.

    Did you first go to them privately, and then take one or two witnesses with you, before going public and asking to have your name added to the declaration?

    And do you have any idea why they’re so implacable?

    1. Hi Mike,

      My discussions with those who oppose the “Lots” version of the guide and standard were indeed private and shall remain so. They were held, without witnesses, both before and after I asked to have my name added to the declaration.

      Not sure that it’s relevant to have witnesses to conversations between friends. I can tell you the conversations were filled with gentleness, meekness, kindness, love unfeigned and long-suffering. Those are the tools of righteous persuasion.

      I hope this answers your question. God bless you my friend.

  4. BTW: I have a personal testimony I believe I should share regarding Jared Livesey.

    Long ago, when he was telling everyone on the LDS Freedom Forum about the importance of giving to every man that asketh of thee, I put him to the test by asking him to send me some money, and he did.

    I had my father to take care of at the time, and it really helped, and I don’t think he ever let me pay him back, though I did try.

    I also tried asking him questions he refused to answer when my father was dying, but I don’t think he really understood the situation.

    I voluntarily promised never to ask him for money again, even as a test, and I never have–but when I was homeless recently I did ask him to send me some things.

    I asked him to send me a sleeping bag and some socks, and he did both.

    But he does still refuse to answer my questions, and when I was in the hospital and tried getting messages to him back in March, I don’t think he ever called me.

    But I don’t know that he ever got the massages I tried to send him, or that he didn’t try to call me, or that he knew how potentially serious my condition was.

    And in regards to answering questions, he’s often quoted that passage about not casting your pearls before swine to me, and Jesus did say that.

    The bottom line is that I don’t know if Jared is keeping the sermon on the mount perfectly, but he does seem to be trying to keep it, and I don’t see why he should be deceived, or “animated by lying spirits” (as I saw someone suggest), and that’s what bothers me.

    I would find it easier if I knew that he was a hypocrite living in luxury while he told me to give my last penny to every beggar I met on the street (or seeing doctors and taking meds while he told me to throw away my rescue inhaler and trust in God for healing.)

    But I don’t know anything of the sort, and I don’t know why he should be deceived.

    Does anyone else?

    I mean, didn’t Jesus say “If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free”?

    And where is Jared wrong when he uses this passage (from 3rd Nephi) to support his position that there shouldn’t be anything in the Guide and Standard that isn’t in the Sermon at Bountiful?

    “Behold, verily, verily, I say unto you, I will declare unto you my doctrine. And this is my doctrine, and it is the doctrine which the Father hath given unto me; and I bear record of the Father, and the Father beareth record of me, and the Holy Ghost beareth record of the Father and me; and I bear record that the Father commandeth all men, everywhere, to repent and believe in me.And whoso believeth in me, and is baptized, the same shall be saved; and they are they who shall inherit the kingdom of God. And whoso believeth not in me, and is not baptized, shall be damned. Verily, verily, I say unto you, that this is my doctrine, and I bear record of it from the Father; and whoso believeth in me believeth in the Father also; and unto him will the Father bear record of me, for he will visit him with fire and with the Holy Ghost. And thus will the Father bear record of me, and the Holy Ghost will bear record unto him of the Father and me; for the Father, and I, and the Holy Ghost are one. And again I say unto you, ye must repent, and become as a little child, and be baptized in my name, or ye can in nowise receive these things. And again I say unto you, ye must repent, and be baptized in my name, and become as a little child, or ye can in nowise inherit the kingdom of God. Verily, verily, I say unto you, that this is my doctrine, and whoso buildeth upon this buildeth upon my rock, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against them. And whoso shall declare more or less than this, and establish it for my doctrine, the same cometh of evil, and is not built upon my rock; but he buildeth upon a sandy foundation, and the gates of hell stand open to receive such when the floods come and the winds beat upon them.”

    I would be very grateful to anyone who can show me where he’s wrong, or why he’s deceived, and I’d be very interested in any comments any of you have to make.

    Thank you.

  5. “I hope this answers your question. God bless you my friend.”

    Thank you Mr. Malone

    I asked my questions because some of those in the remnant movement seem to feel that a minority has hijacked the GS process, are being obstructionist, and find the tactics of one (who insists on disputing every GS proposal but his own) particularly offensive.

    From your comments here, I thought you felt some were guilty of obstructionism, and found such tactics distressing.

    After all, you said you thought long and hard before asking to have your name added to a petition asking the scripture committee to ignore the remaining dissenters and publish the lots document as the movement’s GS.

    “Not sure that it’s relevant to have witnesses to conversations between friends.”

    I was thinking of something Jesus said.

    “Moreover, if your brother shall trespass against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he shall hear you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear you, then take with you one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church. But if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto you as a heathen man and a publican.”
    (Testimony of Matthew 9:13, Restoration Edition of Scripture.)

    The most vocal and vociferous of those disputing the lots document (and every proposal but his own) has repeatedly said that the answer to a prayer for a covenant contains no provision for excommunicating him, but isn’t this passage part of the scriptures that the covenant participants said they would guide their lives by in Boise?

    If it is part of the scriptures you covenanted to guide your life by, and if this dissenter and others are standing in the way of unity (and if you find this offensive), perhaps it would have been relevant to have witnesses to some of conversations between you–don’t you think?

    Then if they continued to obstruct, perhaps there would be some mechanism to excommunicate from the body and move forward.

    But it would appear that no one has followed the pattern that Christ gave His Church by first trying to reason with the dissenters privately, then (as a next step) bringing some witnesses along, and then (finally) bringing the matter before the entire Church.

    BTW: I know someone who says that as long as he disputes the lots document, it’s a disputed document–and that by petitioning the scripture committee to pretend there’s mutual agreement when there is none (by publishing the document) you and the other declarants are attempting to defraud the Lord.

    Can you show me where he’s wrong?

    I mean if he is a covenant participant, and if there is no way to excommunicate him?

  6. Mike,

    As a long-time reader, I’m sure you have noticed this site is no longer relevant in the remnant movement. What I write here will probably only be read by you so I’ll be open and candid. You and I have a long history of discussing the gospel both on the phone, via email and on this blog. I’m aware of your personal situation and thank you for your trust in sharing relevant details of the trials through which you’re passing. Carol and I continue to pray for you and your happiness.

    I don’t read all the remnant-themed blogs like I used to so I can’t comment with any authority about who is saying what or who is advocating what position. I follow the writings of a few whom I trust, one of them being Keith Henderson. Obviously, not everyone agrees with what he shares. And of course, I read Denver’s posts. As Denver has written, I also rejoice that the Lord inspired a group of people to come together to produce and publish scriptures that are more true to the original documents and revelations as delivered to Joseph Smith.

    I don’t know if you have taken advantage of the opportunity to accept baptism, but believe you shared you had come close in the past. Of course back at that time, I still believed baptism as administered in the LDS Church was fully authorized and acceptable to the Lord. I no longer share that belief, nor do I feel the LDS Church is the ONLY way the Lord is working to bring about his strange act here upon the earth in the latter days. However, baptism is still required and is an outward sign of our covenant with Him that we accept the word of His servants today. I am grateful to have my name recorded in the earthly record.

    I know of your fascination with Jared and his writings. I am not sure I understand that fascination. I count Jared as a friend and yes, he and I have had long discussions about the gospel and most recently about the Guide and Standard. I have no desire to persuade you or anyone else that someone’s position is right or wrong. Jared is clear on his position and I have no argument with him. Our last conversation was pleasant and filled with both logic and reasoning. Jared is good at that, much better than I am. I make decisions based on gut feelings, which may not be wise, but has served me well through 61 years of life.

    I have no authority to act in or speak on behalf of any part of the remnant movement, nor any local fellowship. My priesthood remains intact but only to be exercised in my own home. I am simply a follower of Christ. Strangely enough, my fellowship remains in the LDS Church, where I participate as fully as I can each Sunday, and during the week as well. This is do because I love my wife and desire her happiness. Who knows, the day may come when I once again become a member of the LDS Church, but sincerely doubt it given what I currently believe.

    May God continue to bless you in this journey of life. I was saddened to learn of the recent passing of someone I considered a friend, also a long-time reader and participant in my blog. He was my age, retired, and was taken suddenly from this life though an accident. We never know when we will be called home. Life is too short to harbor ill feelings toward anyone who the Lord brings into our circle of influence. I pray you well, my friend, and hope this answer will provide evidence of my love and concern for your well being. God speed and God bless.

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